I hate to say it, but it appears that there is a "crazy" method to the madness of keeping a woman. As I've been observing friends, family, and the public in general, I have come up with a new theory on how to keep a woman.
I have a bad habit when it comes to love and dating. I tend to tell the truth about my feelings and tell it often. If I love a woman, I tell her. If I believe a woman is beautiful, I tell her, and often. I show my love through gifts, service, notes, time, and deference. This has not had the outcome one might expect from such behavior. Instead of causing women to find value in what I bring to the table and fall in love with me, it would seem that I drive women away with my behavior.
To be honest I was dumbfounded by my results. How can good be followed by bad? It's not logical...then again, what woman is? As I have thought about this I have come to believe that women wont' stay with a man that they perceive to have "topped out" with them. If they think they are the best that man can do they believe that they are to good for that man and that better options exist in the world. Hence, they move on to what they believe to be a "better man."
Keep in mind, a "better man" isn't necessarily a better man. In fact, a better man many times is a lesser man. A better man may present in a number of ways. This man may be a good man. He may be successful (however you define that). He may be well off, educated, smart, funny, attractive, a world traveler, etc...this may be a genuine catch. I don't think this is always the case.
There is another man that is seen as the "better man." A man that is more smoke and mirrors than substance. This man may be less of a man in any number of ways than the man that the woman is currently with. There is one major difference, this man will make the woman feel as though she can either do no better or is worthy of no better. This man may treat the woman as "no big deal." She's just the girl I'm with now. That could change at any moment. He doesn't lavish the woman with gifts, complements, time, service, or anything. He's the guy that doesn't flinch when the woman threatens to leave. This man has captured his prey by making it chase him.
My theory has been shown to be correct in a number of ways. I know a woman that is a psychiatrist, accomplished in her field, and often sought after to present to various professional groups. She's funny, works out, and has had a number of suitors. She has had men profess their love and ask for her hand in marriage (and she wants to be married). Yet, she has rejected these men. So, who is the man that has this woman's attention?
The man that has this woman's attention is married with children. He has made no bones about it either. He's verbally abusive, has been physically abusive, and is unfaithful to this woman apart from his wife. You would think a woman with such pedigree would leave but she doesn't. Instead, she professes her love for him. She puts up with being stood up. She moved her to a new location on the promise of this man moving in (he didn't). It would seem there is nothing this man can do that would be wrong...except change his ways and actually "love" her.
Another friend of mine is highly educated, beautiful, funny, and just fun to be around. This woman complains often about her insecurities with her husband. At the same time, she openly admits that if her husband was the type of man to squelch her insecurities she would not be with him. We have talked openly about my theory on women and she has agreed. There is some kind of idiosyncrasy that dwells within women.
Even the woman that I most recently fell in love with would tell me that her ex-husband is the only man she's ever loved. This was a man that she said had no patience with her, did not understand nor try to understand, stayed out most nights, and by her own report was abusive. Yet, this was the man that she loved...him and no one else-EVER.
So, I don't know that I have it in me to do that to a woman. I don't know if I am "man enough" to make a woman feel less than to keep her. It would be I have on my part. It have always hated the games of dating. At the same time if I don't play by the rules I must be willing to accept the consequences. In any event, now you know how to keep em'.
I have a bad habit when it comes to love and dating. I tend to tell the truth about my feelings and tell it often. If I love a woman, I tell her. If I believe a woman is beautiful, I tell her, and often. I show my love through gifts, service, notes, time, and deference. This has not had the outcome one might expect from such behavior. Instead of causing women to find value in what I bring to the table and fall in love with me, it would seem that I drive women away with my behavior.
To be honest I was dumbfounded by my results. How can good be followed by bad? It's not logical...then again, what woman is? As I have thought about this I have come to believe that women wont' stay with a man that they perceive to have "topped out" with them. If they think they are the best that man can do they believe that they are to good for that man and that better options exist in the world. Hence, they move on to what they believe to be a "better man."
Keep in mind, a "better man" isn't necessarily a better man. In fact, a better man many times is a lesser man. A better man may present in a number of ways. This man may be a good man. He may be successful (however you define that). He may be well off, educated, smart, funny, attractive, a world traveler, etc...this may be a genuine catch. I don't think this is always the case.
There is another man that is seen as the "better man." A man that is more smoke and mirrors than substance. This man may be less of a man in any number of ways than the man that the woman is currently with. There is one major difference, this man will make the woman feel as though she can either do no better or is worthy of no better. This man may treat the woman as "no big deal." She's just the girl I'm with now. That could change at any moment. He doesn't lavish the woman with gifts, complements, time, service, or anything. He's the guy that doesn't flinch when the woman threatens to leave. This man has captured his prey by making it chase him.
My theory has been shown to be correct in a number of ways. I know a woman that is a psychiatrist, accomplished in her field, and often sought after to present to various professional groups. She's funny, works out, and has had a number of suitors. She has had men profess their love and ask for her hand in marriage (and she wants to be married). Yet, she has rejected these men. So, who is the man that has this woman's attention?
The man that has this woman's attention is married with children. He has made no bones about it either. He's verbally abusive, has been physically abusive, and is unfaithful to this woman apart from his wife. You would think a woman with such pedigree would leave but she doesn't. Instead, she professes her love for him. She puts up with being stood up. She moved her to a new location on the promise of this man moving in (he didn't). It would seem there is nothing this man can do that would be wrong...except change his ways and actually "love" her.
Another friend of mine is highly educated, beautiful, funny, and just fun to be around. This woman complains often about her insecurities with her husband. At the same time, she openly admits that if her husband was the type of man to squelch her insecurities she would not be with him. We have talked openly about my theory on women and she has agreed. There is some kind of idiosyncrasy that dwells within women.
Even the woman that I most recently fell in love with would tell me that her ex-husband is the only man she's ever loved. This was a man that she said had no patience with her, did not understand nor try to understand, stayed out most nights, and by her own report was abusive. Yet, this was the man that she loved...him and no one else-EVER.
So, I don't know that I have it in me to do that to a woman. I don't know if I am "man enough" to make a woman feel less than to keep her. It would be I have on my part. It have always hated the games of dating. At the same time if I don't play by the rules I must be willing to accept the consequences. In any event, now you know how to keep em'.
