This is a great article! I hope you find it helpful...
Crocker Chronicle: Why Single Women Need To Wait For The Right Man: Photo Credit: de.laina Here are some challenging thoughts from Ruthie Dean urging single women to wait on the right mate by being the r...
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Some Good News
I made my February mortgage payment two days ago. That's a whole 5 days early. Probably not a big deal for many people but it was for more. More than that, it was a great feeling to pay my mortgage and not feel like I just put a noose around my bank accounts neck. Add to that, the fact that my car note and utilities are all current and you have one happy camper!
It has taken some doing to get to this point. I picked up a second job doing the type of work I despised as a young man. When I look back I see that it was my immaturity and sense of entitlement that made me hate it. I rarely find my mind whispering words of complaint when I'm at work because quite frankly, it's a breeze. That's not to say that it's easy just to say that it's not rocket science.
Please be certain that I'm working hard. On the high end I work about 70+ hours a week. Right now I'm looking more like 55 hours a week. The sacrifice of time and sleep have paid off in the sense of peace and knowing I can meet my responsibilities. I would love to have a single job that allowed me to do the same. Yet, I'm thankful for this opportunity given to me by God to do what must be done.
I'm hopeful that I can maintain this job until something higher paying comes along or at least until the summer months hit (that's when my daughter will no longer suck nearly $400 a month out of my pocket for childcare). If not, I will get back on my grind once again and find another way to make it. I'm thankful for this moment in time. I'm going to sit back (figuratively speaking) and enjoy it.
It has taken some doing to get to this point. I picked up a second job doing the type of work I despised as a young man. When I look back I see that it was my immaturity and sense of entitlement that made me hate it. I rarely find my mind whispering words of complaint when I'm at work because quite frankly, it's a breeze. That's not to say that it's easy just to say that it's not rocket science.
Please be certain that I'm working hard. On the high end I work about 70+ hours a week. Right now I'm looking more like 55 hours a week. The sacrifice of time and sleep have paid off in the sense of peace and knowing I can meet my responsibilities. I would love to have a single job that allowed me to do the same. Yet, I'm thankful for this opportunity given to me by God to do what must be done.
I'm hopeful that I can maintain this job until something higher paying comes along or at least until the summer months hit (that's when my daughter will no longer suck nearly $400 a month out of my pocket for childcare). If not, I will get back on my grind once again and find another way to make it. I'm thankful for this moment in time. I'm going to sit back (figuratively speaking) and enjoy it.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
THE POWER OF SEX
A couple of weeks ago I was listening to one of my favorite radio personalities, Dennis Prager. He was talking about men and sex. During his broadcast he took a moment to reflect on President Clinton and what took place in the oval office. He did not comment on the scandal as much as he focused on the incredible power sex has in the lives of men.
Prager stated that as President of the most powerful country and leader of the free world, President Clinton had it all. Yet, he was willing to risk all of this for sex. Many like to frame the situation as one where power had gone to the President's head (no pun intended) and therefore he took advantage. However, I think the truth is that sex has a gravitational pull unlike anything known to man. Woman tend to have a difficult time grasping this (And I don't care how much you claim to love sex, you don't experience it as a man does).
What on earth would a man risk all of his power, prestige, reputation, and future on? Nothing comes to mind. Sex has such a power that it defies rational thinking and leaves many asking what they were thinking after the fact. President Clinton is not the only man this has happened too. I often say that apart from the power of God, no man can overcome his passiona and desires for sex.
I can attest in my own life that I have taken substantial risk when it comes to sex. Things I look back on and wonder how I could have ever considered such actions, much less executed them. Such things are in many ways shameful. Yet, when I think about them I find that I sense the power that was present in those moments. I have had friends confess their shame and even disgust by their own thoughts and actions. They too found themselves wrapped in the web of pornographic seduction.
Men have risked disease, pregnancy, destruction of family, destruction of career, loss of fortune and financial stability, and on and on.... I have to believe that the sex drive of men has been blown way out of proportion by the fall of man. I can't imagine being this way in the Garden of Eden walking around naked. We wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. That is why it is so necessary for men to recognize it's power and our need for external power to overcome it. Much like water, fire, or wind....sex can be your friend and your enemy.
Prager stated that as President of the most powerful country and leader of the free world, President Clinton had it all. Yet, he was willing to risk all of this for sex. Many like to frame the situation as one where power had gone to the President's head (no pun intended) and therefore he took advantage. However, I think the truth is that sex has a gravitational pull unlike anything known to man. Woman tend to have a difficult time grasping this (And I don't care how much you claim to love sex, you don't experience it as a man does).
What on earth would a man risk all of his power, prestige, reputation, and future on? Nothing comes to mind. Sex has such a power that it defies rational thinking and leaves many asking what they were thinking after the fact. President Clinton is not the only man this has happened too. I often say that apart from the power of God, no man can overcome his passiona and desires for sex.
I can attest in my own life that I have taken substantial risk when it comes to sex. Things I look back on and wonder how I could have ever considered such actions, much less executed them. Such things are in many ways shameful. Yet, when I think about them I find that I sense the power that was present in those moments. I have had friends confess their shame and even disgust by their own thoughts and actions. They too found themselves wrapped in the web of pornographic seduction.
Men have risked disease, pregnancy, destruction of family, destruction of career, loss of fortune and financial stability, and on and on.... I have to believe that the sex drive of men has been blown way out of proportion by the fall of man. I can't imagine being this way in the Garden of Eden walking around naked. We wouldn't know what to do with ourselves. That is why it is so necessary for men to recognize it's power and our need for external power to overcome it. Much like water, fire, or wind....sex can be your friend and your enemy.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
FRIEND....
It's been a while since I've written. It's not that I haven't had anything to say, it's just that I haven't been interested in putting it in print. I find myself in a mood to write this evening so I will share a few thoughts on dating. These are likely thoughts I've shared before. If you have heard this before I apologize. Nevertheless, I write...
I have found in recent weeks that the issue of friendship is a barrier to the progression of romantic relationships. This has always been an odd practice to me. I can not imagine why a person would not date a man or woman because they are a "friend." After all, when I hear people madly in love or celebrating anniversaries I always hear a clear declaration that the focus of that love is the "best friend" of the lover. Despite this common affirmation or declaration, time and time again people claim they won't pursue love and happiness because one is a friend.
It defies logic in some ways. Think of this, I'm searching for someone that I can love, someone that will be a friend...However, I disqualify all those that I know to be friends already. What sense does that make? Zero. Truth is, this is rarely an issue for men. Men view such relationships as bridges, not barriers. At the same time women seem to hide behind this. I have considered that this is all garbage.
I deduct that there may be a truth that lies beneath the surface that is brutal, if not outright offensive. I believe that women use the "friend" tag as a nice way of saying I'm not attracted to you. Reason being, I see women pursue friends on a regular basis. Such men seem to hold a trait that passes for surface attraction. Perhaps, they have something deeper. Nevertheless, I will no longer believe the statement, "it's because we're friends." I simply don't believe it.
I have found in recent weeks that the issue of friendship is a barrier to the progression of romantic relationships. This has always been an odd practice to me. I can not imagine why a person would not date a man or woman because they are a "friend." After all, when I hear people madly in love or celebrating anniversaries I always hear a clear declaration that the focus of that love is the "best friend" of the lover. Despite this common affirmation or declaration, time and time again people claim they won't pursue love and happiness because one is a friend.
It defies logic in some ways. Think of this, I'm searching for someone that I can love, someone that will be a friend...However, I disqualify all those that I know to be friends already. What sense does that make? Zero. Truth is, this is rarely an issue for men. Men view such relationships as bridges, not barriers. At the same time women seem to hide behind this. I have considered that this is all garbage.
I deduct that there may be a truth that lies beneath the surface that is brutal, if not outright offensive. I believe that women use the "friend" tag as a nice way of saying I'm not attracted to you. Reason being, I see women pursue friends on a regular basis. Such men seem to hold a trait that passes for surface attraction. Perhaps, they have something deeper. Nevertheless, I will no longer believe the statement, "it's because we're friends." I simply don't believe it.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
My Life Sucks
With each new day comes new information as to how much my life sucks. There are a myriad of issues that I just can't disclose at this time as I have no idea how I'm going to proceed nor how they will ultimately effect others. There are issues that I face personally, issues that my family is facing, issues that my friends are facing, and the general state of life in American at this time.
I have no idea or thoughts on my own personal future. I don't particularly care for my job or the politics surrounding it at this time. I hate where I live but I don't see a way out that I can sleep with at this time. I think I need a new career but opportunities are few and far between. I've come to find at various moments that my family has some pretty warped opinions of me and I don't really care for them much anymore.
I have financial issues that are simply outpacing my efforts. I have a second job that I'm thankful to have but bores me to death. I come to an agreement to address my issues only to have them changed in the writing of the contract and back to the drawing board all over again as though that conversation never took place. I seem to make head way at work only to have it all turned around, then coming back to my original proposal at the end when it's too late.
I have few friends that I actually see face to face. I have some friends that only seem interested in seeing me if I'm at church or a church related service. In some ways I feel like I have no friends. Once a life full of activity, phone calls, and social interaction. Now a life filled with quiet time at home, no phone calls apart from those wanting money, and very limited social interaction outside of work.
My health is taking a real dive right now. I haven't felt normal or healthy for about a month now. My blood pressure is going through the roof and my weight is going right along with it. It would seem I'm depressed once again and that I have little motivation for much of anything. I think about calling off from work daily. And, I think of letting most everything I've been fighting for go. I have no insight, no plan, no reprieve, no peace, only madness. Life sucks.
I have no idea or thoughts on my own personal future. I don't particularly care for my job or the politics surrounding it at this time. I hate where I live but I don't see a way out that I can sleep with at this time. I think I need a new career but opportunities are few and far between. I've come to find at various moments that my family has some pretty warped opinions of me and I don't really care for them much anymore.
I have financial issues that are simply outpacing my efforts. I have a second job that I'm thankful to have but bores me to death. I come to an agreement to address my issues only to have them changed in the writing of the contract and back to the drawing board all over again as though that conversation never took place. I seem to make head way at work only to have it all turned around, then coming back to my original proposal at the end when it's too late.
I have few friends that I actually see face to face. I have some friends that only seem interested in seeing me if I'm at church or a church related service. In some ways I feel like I have no friends. Once a life full of activity, phone calls, and social interaction. Now a life filled with quiet time at home, no phone calls apart from those wanting money, and very limited social interaction outside of work.
My health is taking a real dive right now. I haven't felt normal or healthy for about a month now. My blood pressure is going through the roof and my weight is going right along with it. It would seem I'm depressed once again and that I have little motivation for much of anything. I think about calling off from work daily. And, I think of letting most everything I've been fighting for go. I have no insight, no plan, no reprieve, no peace, only madness. Life sucks.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Who needs TV?
I am a big movie/TV guy! I could watch movies or shows pretty much all day long. I love a good story, the triumphal victory, the melding of two hearts. I really love the capturing of the human spirit on film. Many times while watching shows you'll come across events that can only happen on television...well that you think could only happen on television.
This past week has presented me with some pretty dramatic activity in the realm of reality. One female associate of mine is pregnant by a man she has only been dating for a short period of time. In the meantime, the father of her first child has declared his love for her and wants to reunite. She's wanted this for a long time but as you can see the timing is all bad. Add to that a bunch of details in the background story and you have a made for television real life drama.
Another female associate has decided to give a good guy a chance. He's been after her for long time now and he loves her. She knows he's a nice guy and sincere in his declaration of love. Problem is, she's just not into the guy like that. On the other hand, she has a man in her life that just causes her to lose all cool when he's around. She struggles to refuse his advances. Problem is, he's not looking for commitment and she's the one chasing him. She knows he's bad for her in this way but she's addicted to him. She doesn't want to hurt the nice guy, but she doesn't want him.
Yet, another woman I know has a jealous, controlling, abusive guy in her life that may actually threaten her life. The guy has gone so far as to spy on her and those she spends time with. This is a rather chilling and scary story to say the least. It has a made for lifetime feel to it. Stuck in the middle of all this she's not sure what course of action to take. It's the type of drama that keeps you watching on TV and that you hope you never encounter in real life.
Needless to say, there's plenty of drama in the lives people we all know. Truth is, if you get to know folks you will find their life stories to be quite compelling if it is told correctly. I have not had cable for about a year or so now. Normally I read heavily when I don't have cable. Truth is, I don't miss it so much. When you have real life unfolding before your very eyes you don't need make-believe to entertain you or stimulate your mind. TV, who needs it?
Sunday, October 9, 2011
How Perfection Destroy's
Last night I watched the movie Tron: Legacy. It was a interesting movie. The graphics were great. I was impressed by the presence of an old Jeff Bridges along side a young Jeff Bridges. The movie had some pretty hefty themes throughout. It was much more than a sci-fi, special effects flick.
One of the themes that were present and pronounced in the movie was the pursuit of perfection. The dilemma in the movie all stems from one man's desire to achieve perfection. I have found that the goal of perfection is one of significant danger. It endangers the good. It almost always results in the seizure of control over all things. And, it ultimately ends with destruction instead of perfection.
Look at leaders such as Hitler. He sought to create a nation, even a world, of perfect people (as he saw them). The results were mass homicide, the takeover of half the world, and finally destruction. Even now, those that seek to reach perfection are doing so by seizing control and ruling with an iron fist over others.
It's my belief that human beings are incapable of reaching perfection. Hence, the pursuit of such a thing is maddening and only exacerbates what we are-fallen. In the end, we appear as perfectly fallen and depraved beings. For that is what we are. This isn't to say that we ought not shoot for the stars and seek to improve. This is to say that we do in fact have limitations that must be recognized.
I find that the issue itself is not in pursuit of better things. But instead, the issue is the discarding of timeless principles. Principles must always remain. They are the foundation and building blocks of society. When we discard those principles we plunge ourselves into chaos. All the while claiming a serious search for perfection.
In order for one to achieve perfection we must be able to control the variables. Hence, we try to put in place as many controls as possible to limit the unpredictable, uncontrollable, variables. Problem is, there are too many variables outside of our control. As a result we are corrupted by the whole process. As it has been said, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
People do this in all facets of life. Love, career, sport...We destroy what is good because we want something that is neither real nor attainable. People remain unhappy because life does not match their perfect world mindset. They will always be unhappy because it never will. The great Tony Dungy said that the reason the Super Bowl loser does not make the playoffs the following year is because they change the way they play looking to correct the imperfection that led to their loss. This is a mistake. The reality isn't that something was broken but that they were beat by the better performing team that day.
Such is life. Stop killing what is good by the mythical perfect. Enjoy life. Experience it in all of it's goodness, both the sun and the rain. Don't drive yourself crazy with fruitless work. Don't sit around and pout about what is not. Get up, go, do, be...LIVE. Perfection is not a requirement for a pleasing life.
One of the themes that were present and pronounced in the movie was the pursuit of perfection. The dilemma in the movie all stems from one man's desire to achieve perfection. I have found that the goal of perfection is one of significant danger. It endangers the good. It almost always results in the seizure of control over all things. And, it ultimately ends with destruction instead of perfection.
Look at leaders such as Hitler. He sought to create a nation, even a world, of perfect people (as he saw them). The results were mass homicide, the takeover of half the world, and finally destruction. Even now, those that seek to reach perfection are doing so by seizing control and ruling with an iron fist over others.
It's my belief that human beings are incapable of reaching perfection. Hence, the pursuit of such a thing is maddening and only exacerbates what we are-fallen. In the end, we appear as perfectly fallen and depraved beings. For that is what we are. This isn't to say that we ought not shoot for the stars and seek to improve. This is to say that we do in fact have limitations that must be recognized.
I find that the issue itself is not in pursuit of better things. But instead, the issue is the discarding of timeless principles. Principles must always remain. They are the foundation and building blocks of society. When we discard those principles we plunge ourselves into chaos. All the while claiming a serious search for perfection.
In order for one to achieve perfection we must be able to control the variables. Hence, we try to put in place as many controls as possible to limit the unpredictable, uncontrollable, variables. Problem is, there are too many variables outside of our control. As a result we are corrupted by the whole process. As it has been said, "Absolute power corrupts absolutely."
People do this in all facets of life. Love, career, sport...We destroy what is good because we want something that is neither real nor attainable. People remain unhappy because life does not match their perfect world mindset. They will always be unhappy because it never will. The great Tony Dungy said that the reason the Super Bowl loser does not make the playoffs the following year is because they change the way they play looking to correct the imperfection that led to their loss. This is a mistake. The reality isn't that something was broken but that they were beat by the better performing team that day.
Such is life. Stop killing what is good by the mythical perfect. Enjoy life. Experience it in all of it's goodness, both the sun and the rain. Don't drive yourself crazy with fruitless work. Don't sit around and pout about what is not. Get up, go, do, be...LIVE. Perfection is not a requirement for a pleasing life.
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