Yesterday I was completely worn out on the happenings of life. I was exhausted from the grind. I was introduced with a bit of bad news concerning my home and that set me up for mental exhaustion. The loss of my home may be all the more closer now that the mortgage company has filed in court. This coupled with the strong possibility of being laid off had me going.
It's not that I was surprised by the filing. It's just that the combination of the two events put me in a tough position. I'd hate to lose the home. However, I don't want to fight to keep it only to lose it once I've lost my job. At the same time, I don't want to move into an apartment or lease a property because the need to move to another state or city may be a reality. It's a catch 22 with a rock and a hard place.
Yesterday I was frozen in thought, filled with frustration, and lacking in any kind of hopeful outcome. Today, although nothing has changed, I'm much more even keeled. I have several plans and options on my mental plate and I'm exploring each one with the help of professionals. These same thoughts were present yesterday but I just couldn't see any light. If worst comes to worst, I'll still be alive, still have a roof over my head, still have food to eat, and still have my children and family. All will not be lost.
The following verse is one of my favorites from the Bible:
Ecclesiastes 9:11 NIV
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Certainly, time and chance has happened to me. Like many before me and many after me...I will survive. I couldn't see this yesterday. But a day of fun and a night of rest has proven helpful in my case. I may have more down days, but more up days will surely follow. As one person once stated, "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances." Oh, what a difference one day can make.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Saturday, February 26, 2011
TIRED
At this point in time I'm wore out. I'm wore out physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, in reality and virtually. I'm beat. I have little to no motivation to do much of anything. I'm tired of fighting, tired of trying, tired of being tired...yet too tired to do much about it. When I really look at the situation I come to the realization that life is kicking my ass.
I wish I could say I was doing dope a rope like Ali. He had a plan for the ass whooping he was taking with the ultimate expectation and outcome of success. I'm not faking anybody out. I'm getting a thorough, real life, behind the woodshed, ass whoopin'. There are no two ways about it. I guess we all have our limits and I've met mine. At least at this point I have.
I've got a plan in my head to handle the mess I'm in. It could probably be done. Yet, it's always the details or someones bullshit policies standing in the way. Again, I'm too tired to act right now so in my head may be the full extent of this plan. As the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men..........
I often laugh when the scene from the movie BEST MAN comes on where the groom is beating the hell out of his best friend/best man. It's not the scene itself that makes me laugh, but the commentary that came from my best friend..."I thought he was never gonna stop whoopin' his ass!" It pops in my head every time I see it or think about it. Right now I'm asking if "Life is ever going to stop whoopin' my ass?" Not so funny when I think of it like that. All well, I'm too tired to correct it anyway.
I wish I could say I was doing dope a rope like Ali. He had a plan for the ass whooping he was taking with the ultimate expectation and outcome of success. I'm not faking anybody out. I'm getting a thorough, real life, behind the woodshed, ass whoopin'. There are no two ways about it. I guess we all have our limits and I've met mine. At least at this point I have.
I've got a plan in my head to handle the mess I'm in. It could probably be done. Yet, it's always the details or someones bullshit policies standing in the way. Again, I'm too tired to act right now so in my head may be the full extent of this plan. As the saying goes, the best laid plans of mice and men..........
I often laugh when the scene from the movie BEST MAN comes on where the groom is beating the hell out of his best friend/best man. It's not the scene itself that makes me laugh, but the commentary that came from my best friend..."I thought he was never gonna stop whoopin' his ass!" It pops in my head every time I see it or think about it. Right now I'm asking if "Life is ever going to stop whoopin' my ass?" Not so funny when I think of it like that. All well, I'm too tired to correct it anyway.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
MARRIAGE, THE SUPER BOWL OF LOVE
Here on Super Sunday I can't help but tie relationships and the game together. As a die hard STEELERS fan I'm all amped up for the game. Hopes are high, anticipation is incredible, and the feel of comradery is strong throughout the city. The game has promise. It will be great if the STEELERS win.
I've been watching the games closely leading up to this point in time. The regular season, the playoffs, and now the BIG GAME. I've considered how much work it has taken to get to this place. To get to the brink of greatness. As I watched the teams and fans celebrate the opportunity to play for the championship there is almost a misleading milue that is born out of victory.
The blood, sweat, and tears that are shed just getting to the championship game are an exercise in exhaustion all on its own. But just getting there isn't good enough. You don't play the game to go to the championship, but to win it. It is at this time that so many let their guard down.
Warnings have been reverberated to the players, "Make the most of it, you may never get back." I would echo the same sentiment for marriage. So many people let their guard down after the wedding day. For many, engagement is the playoffs, and marriage is the Super Bowl. People put incredible energy into getting engaged. Even more energy into the 12-18 hour wedding day. Only to relax, in the actual Super Bowl of life-MARRIAGE.
The hard work only begins after "I do." Most people aren't interested in this. Most folks want the pagentry of the wedding day, the gifts, and the honey moon. Few, look forward to the ongoing work of service, forgiveness, and change required to make a lasting marriage. Once the thrill is gone, the thrill is gone. Oddly enough, many folks figure that if this relationship doesn't work out the next marriage will.
Dan Marino, A Pro Football great, made it to the Super Bowl in only his second year as a quaterback in the NFL. He said that he figured he'd be back many times. In his sixteen year career, his first appearance in the Super Bowl was his only appearance. The same may be true for peoples best shot for a successful marriage. Don't let this point be lost on you because of the sports comparison. Studies show that the first marriage is the best bet for success. Divorce rate numbers nearly double with each additional marriage.
So with all that in mind, don't take marriage lightly. It's not the end of the game, but the beginning. If you are in a marriage or will be soon give it all you have. Suffer, push, pray, and bleed till a good relationship is reborn. You may never find yourself in the Super Bowl of Love again. You may never have a second chance to raise the Trohpy of all Trophies.......LASTING LOVE.
I've been watching the games closely leading up to this point in time. The regular season, the playoffs, and now the BIG GAME. I've considered how much work it has taken to get to this place. To get to the brink of greatness. As I watched the teams and fans celebrate the opportunity to play for the championship there is almost a misleading milue that is born out of victory.
The blood, sweat, and tears that are shed just getting to the championship game are an exercise in exhaustion all on its own. But just getting there isn't good enough. You don't play the game to go to the championship, but to win it. It is at this time that so many let their guard down.
Warnings have been reverberated to the players, "Make the most of it, you may never get back." I would echo the same sentiment for marriage. So many people let their guard down after the wedding day. For many, engagement is the playoffs, and marriage is the Super Bowl. People put incredible energy into getting engaged. Even more energy into the 12-18 hour wedding day. Only to relax, in the actual Super Bowl of life-MARRIAGE.
The hard work only begins after "I do." Most people aren't interested in this. Most folks want the pagentry of the wedding day, the gifts, and the honey moon. Few, look forward to the ongoing work of service, forgiveness, and change required to make a lasting marriage. Once the thrill is gone, the thrill is gone. Oddly enough, many folks figure that if this relationship doesn't work out the next marriage will.
Dan Marino, A Pro Football great, made it to the Super Bowl in only his second year as a quaterback in the NFL. He said that he figured he'd be back many times. In his sixteen year career, his first appearance in the Super Bowl was his only appearance. The same may be true for peoples best shot for a successful marriage. Don't let this point be lost on you because of the sports comparison. Studies show that the first marriage is the best bet for success. Divorce rate numbers nearly double with each additional marriage.
So with all that in mind, don't take marriage lightly. It's not the end of the game, but the beginning. If you are in a marriage or will be soon give it all you have. Suffer, push, pray, and bleed till a good relationship is reborn. You may never find yourself in the Super Bowl of Love again. You may never have a second chance to raise the Trohpy of all Trophies.......LASTING LOVE.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Values Matter
I've been doing a lot of thinking about the prospects of ever being married again. Included in these thoughts have been the questions of; What do I want? What am I looking for? What do I need to make it work? The answers have all been widdled down to one thing, VALUES.
I'm a very conservative person. I'm socially conservative and economically conservative. When I'm practicing my faith I'm religiously conservative. I've come to the conclusion that I would be best served by someone that shared my same values. They too would be best served in this way.
It's not that we have to agree on everything, but we need to be in alignment on issues of faith, morality, and what's most important to us. I see people of very differing opinions come together in union. This is a plan for disaster. It might work for a while, but after some time core values will win out.
I know lots of women that are fun, sexy, witty, and more. Yet, we don't click on the big issues. This is a real problem. I've come to realize that I shouldn't force the issue. These women are good as friends, but not as spouses. People argue enough. Nobody needs a built in argument.
Since coming to this conclusion I have also come to another. I may have cut my field of perspective mates to a small group; white women that date black men. In my discussions with women of the African American persuasion it has been made clear that they do not share my core values. This is especially true in the political arena.
My politics are values based. Therefore, I have to go with those that align with my values and what I believe in. Furthermore, my values are connected to my faith. Not a Hodge podge of whatever. This is important in terms of shaping the home culture, the worldview, and particularly in shaping our children (if there be any).
I'm hoping that if I do marry again a wiser approach will prevail till death. I never thought I'd be in this place now. I thought I was in my "till death" relationship. I've got a lot of love to give and I hope there is one that is prepared to receive. More then that, I hope we share the same core values.
I'm a very conservative person. I'm socially conservative and economically conservative. When I'm practicing my faith I'm religiously conservative. I've come to the conclusion that I would be best served by someone that shared my same values. They too would be best served in this way.
It's not that we have to agree on everything, but we need to be in alignment on issues of faith, morality, and what's most important to us. I see people of very differing opinions come together in union. This is a plan for disaster. It might work for a while, but after some time core values will win out.
I know lots of women that are fun, sexy, witty, and more. Yet, we don't click on the big issues. This is a real problem. I've come to realize that I shouldn't force the issue. These women are good as friends, but not as spouses. People argue enough. Nobody needs a built in argument.
Since coming to this conclusion I have also come to another. I may have cut my field of perspective mates to a small group; white women that date black men. In my discussions with women of the African American persuasion it has been made clear that they do not share my core values. This is especially true in the political arena.
My politics are values based. Therefore, I have to go with those that align with my values and what I believe in. Furthermore, my values are connected to my faith. Not a Hodge podge of whatever. This is important in terms of shaping the home culture, the worldview, and particularly in shaping our children (if there be any).
I'm hoping that if I do marry again a wiser approach will prevail till death. I never thought I'd be in this place now. I thought I was in my "till death" relationship. I've got a lot of love to give and I hope there is one that is prepared to receive. More then that, I hope we share the same core values.
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