Values Matter

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the prospects of ever being married again. Included in these thoughts have been the questions of; What do I want? What am I looking for? What do I need to make it work? The answers have all been widdled down to one thing, VALUES.

I'm a very conservative person. I'm socially conservative and economically conservative. When I'm practicing my faith I'm religiously conservative. I've come to the conclusion that I would be best served by someone that shared my same values. They too would be best served in this way.

It's not that we have to agree on everything, but we need to be in alignment on issues of faith, morality, and what's most important to us. I see people of very differing opinions come together in union. This is a plan for disaster. It might work for a while, but after some time core values will win out.

I know lots of women that are fun, sexy, witty, and more. Yet, we don't click on the big issues. This is a real problem. I've come to realize that I shouldn't force the issue. These women are good as friends, but not as spouses. People argue enough. Nobody needs a built in argument.

Since coming to this conclusion I have also come to another. I may have cut my field of perspective mates to a small group; white women that date black men. In my discussions with women of the African American persuasion it has been made clear that they do not share my core values. This is especially true in the political arena.

My politics are values based. Therefore, I have to go with those that align with my values and what I believe in. Furthermore, my values are connected to my faith. Not a Hodge podge of whatever. This is important in terms of shaping the home culture, the worldview, and particularly in shaping our children (if there be any).

I'm hoping that if I do marry again a wiser approach will prevail till death. I never thought I'd be in this place now. I thought I was in my "till death" relationship. I've got a lot of love to give and I hope there is one that is prepared to receive. More then that, I hope we share the same core values.