Yesterday I was completely worn out on the happenings of life. I was exhausted from the grind. I was introduced with a bit of bad news concerning my home and that set me up for mental exhaustion. The loss of my home may be all the more closer now that the mortgage company has filed in court. This coupled with the strong possibility of being laid off had me going.
It's not that I was surprised by the filing. It's just that the combination of the two events put me in a tough position. I'd hate to lose the home. However, I don't want to fight to keep it only to lose it once I've lost my job. At the same time, I don't want to move into an apartment or lease a property because the need to move to another state or city may be a reality. It's a catch 22 with a rock and a hard place.
Yesterday I was frozen in thought, filled with frustration, and lacking in any kind of hopeful outcome. Today, although nothing has changed, I'm much more even keeled. I have several plans and options on my mental plate and I'm exploring each one with the help of professionals. These same thoughts were present yesterday but I just couldn't see any light. If worst comes to worst, I'll still be alive, still have a roof over my head, still have food to eat, and still have my children and family. All will not be lost.
The following verse is one of my favorites from the Bible:
Ecclesiastes 9:11 NIV
I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.
Certainly, time and chance has happened to me. Like many before me and many after me...I will survive. I couldn't see this yesterday. But a day of fun and a night of rest has proven helpful in my case. I may have more down days, but more up days will surely follow. As one person once stated, "Don't make permanent decisions based on temporary circumstances." Oh, what a difference one day can make.
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