Challenges are coming at me a mile a minute. Layoffs are pending at work. My home hangs in the balance. There is an opportunity to go to school on a partial scholarship. However, that's dependent upon my continued employment. No employment means no scholarship and no program. If I loose my job and my home I'm not certain where I will go or what I will do.
Each decision builds one upon the other. I don't mind the adversity. Such is life. I do mind the complications that are brought on by so many question marks. But still, that is also life. I can tell you how I ended up where I am step by step. Yet I still wonder, "How did I get here?" How did I get to Akron OH? So far from home. So far from family. So far from faith. So far from all of my plans.
It's kind of funny in a way. As I am making a conscious effort to turn back towards my faith I find that these complications are coming at rapid speeds. This has been the pattern much of my life. I suppose the battle is the most fierce the closer to the end you come. It's fierce right now in many ways. Relationships are in transition, work is in limbo, housing is out there too, and I'm in many ways as lost as the show.
This has been my life for nearly a year. I'm used to it now. Anger won't change things. Blame won't change things. Whining and sulking won't change things either. Truth is, returning to my faith may not change things either. At least it may not change things the way I want them too. Only change will change things. So, I'm going to roll with the punches. See where this all ends up. Life is exciting in a way I did not want it to be. Nevertheless, I am going to go with the uncertainty.
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