Today is just one of those days. It's a day where things are sad. I miss my family today. My kids. Their laugh. Even my wife (who I thought she was, not who she is or was for the moment). I suppose this is the grief process. You have up and down days. You have times where things that you thought had long left you show up front and center.
These things hit like a mack truck. One moment you're rolling along, making it through life. The next, you find yourself wondering how you got here? At this time you wish things were different. You try to find where you went wrong in your decision making? Could this have all been avoided? What if's? rule the day. It's sickening because what if's? are never answered.
Since I'm in the profession I'm in I knew that days like this were likely to come and many more will surely be on their way. I won't let this keep me down. I know better than that. I know that this feeling will pass eventually. But for now, I've just got to feel what I'm feeling. It's just one of those days.
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