1 is the loneliest number...This was a hit song back in the day. I imagine it was popular because of the great truth it holds. People were meant for connection and relationship. It's not healthy to have extended periods of solitude. It's also not healthy to have no one in your life that you connect with and can be yourself.
I find myself at the loneliest number. This has come to pass over time and all of a sudden all at once. Over time, my friends have moved away. They have moved out of the city, out of state, and in many ways out of common ground. One of my last remaining friends in the city is moving to NC at the end of the summer. Sadly, he seems to have moved already in some ways.
We were supposed to hang out yesterday. Despite the fact I sent him a message, which is a common way of communication between us, he did not respond. I would come to find that he was at the library puttsing around. This has been the pattern of my friendships lately. People seem to be busy doing nothing. I've even gone to the point of offering to cover the cost of whatever activity we would engage in and I still can't draw their attention.
My other friend has made it clear that his girlfriend plays a major role in why we don't hang anymore. We share very different values, opinions, and politics. This isn't a problem for me. However, her youthful immaturity (she's a decade younger) has not equipped her to hold different opinions and still be cordial, much less friends. My friend has decided to cut his own nuts off and bow to her demands. As sad as that is, I feel like "F'em." If all it took was a woman to reduce our near 20 year friendship to brief and infrequent telephone contact, well.....what more be said.
That last piece of this lonely puzzle has to do with the focus of my affection. I thought things were going well. We were spending time together, laughing, and at one point she was very close to disclosing our relationship to her family. Then she went on vacation and things haven't been the same since. She has now cancelled on me twice, and completely ignored a request to spend time together. I asked her what's up but she continues to give some lame excuse about being physically tired. This, after a year....This is much more difficult than I intended. At the same time, I'm moving toward "F her" too.
I have learned the hard lesson that it does little good to fight for the attention of someone that simply has no interest. I've seen this movie before. It doesn't end well. I'm gonna save my money and avoid the sad disappointment of losing time on a hopeless cause. This all hurts like hell to be honest. I haven't been sleeping well for about two weeks. I have a mild tension of anger sitting just below the surface. I don't like it when I get like this. Yet, it has to run its course so I can move on. 1 is the loneliest number....I don't need a song to remind me of that.
I find myself at the loneliest number. This has come to pass over time and all of a sudden all at once. Over time, my friends have moved away. They have moved out of the city, out of state, and in many ways out of common ground. One of my last remaining friends in the city is moving to NC at the end of the summer. Sadly, he seems to have moved already in some ways.
We were supposed to hang out yesterday. Despite the fact I sent him a message, which is a common way of communication between us, he did not respond. I would come to find that he was at the library puttsing around. This has been the pattern of my friendships lately. People seem to be busy doing nothing. I've even gone to the point of offering to cover the cost of whatever activity we would engage in and I still can't draw their attention.
My other friend has made it clear that his girlfriend plays a major role in why we don't hang anymore. We share very different values, opinions, and politics. This isn't a problem for me. However, her youthful immaturity (she's a decade younger) has not equipped her to hold different opinions and still be cordial, much less friends. My friend has decided to cut his own nuts off and bow to her demands. As sad as that is, I feel like "F'em." If all it took was a woman to reduce our near 20 year friendship to brief and infrequent telephone contact, well.....what more be said.
That last piece of this lonely puzzle has to do with the focus of my affection. I thought things were going well. We were spending time together, laughing, and at one point she was very close to disclosing our relationship to her family. Then she went on vacation and things haven't been the same since. She has now cancelled on me twice, and completely ignored a request to spend time together. I asked her what's up but she continues to give some lame excuse about being physically tired. This, after a year....This is much more difficult than I intended. At the same time, I'm moving toward "F her" too.
I have learned the hard lesson that it does little good to fight for the attention of someone that simply has no interest. I've seen this movie before. It doesn't end well. I'm gonna save my money and avoid the sad disappointment of losing time on a hopeless cause. This all hurts like hell to be honest. I haven't been sleeping well for about two weeks. I have a mild tension of anger sitting just below the surface. I don't like it when I get like this. Yet, it has to run its course so I can move on. 1 is the loneliest number....I don't need a song to remind me of that.
No comments:
Post a Comment