As is the proper response to painful life experience I've turned to my friends. One friend is a pastor and approaches most all things as such. Amidst our interactions he suggested that if I were to commit myself to God once again that I would find peace. Although I think finding real faith and solace in God is both good and true, I heard something different.
Instead of hearing return to God for healing and restoration, I heard "this wouldn't have happened if you were walking with God. Your relationships would be better if you were 'doing what the Lord wants you to do'." My interpretation of what was being communicated may be way off base. However, for the purposes of this post and processing I'm going to write on my original inclination.
I have been one who "walked with the Lord" in a way that it consumed me. I really tried to order my life around God and faith. I was thinking at most every moment, "is this what God wants me to do?" Yet, the results were not a better life. In fact, it may have resulted in an even more frustrating life as I was so uncertain of what I was doing at any given moment. Nevertheless, my marriage ended in disastrous fashion, my heart was broken, my finances stomped on, and my outlook on life forever changed.
I bring this up because if I were to buy into what was being said I would be lead to believe that my life would find peace and satisfaction if I were to walk after God. I can't tell you that's the truth according to my life experiences, observations, or by the Holy scriptures. The Bible is explicit when Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble."
I must say that a life of suffering, struggle, and "trouble," is not a life often preached on by our faith leaders. If it is preached on, it is done in the context of soon to come victory or the power that is available to overcome. It's very rare that suffering...lasting, ongoing, suffering, is talked about. Yet, I contend that this is reality for many.
Recently, a friend of mine suffered a very painful happening in their life. Their husband left them without notice, warning, or resources for living. Even worse, they stuck them with massive amounts of debt and sought to do so through a shrewed legal maneuver. My friend has dedicated her life to the service of God and man. She has served as a missionary, raising her own funds to reach out to others. Even after leaving the mission field she sought to serve others vocationally as a therapist. Yet, her strong commitment and service unto God was not enough to thwart the harsh realities of unexpected calamities and pain. Would one recommend that she would find peace by "doing right by the Lord?" Hadn't she already sought to do so....?
It is my firm belief that our commitment to God does not impact the trials or smoothness of life with direct correlation. I know people who openly and purposely defy God, even mocking him, and relatively speaking they have great lives-Money, travel, friends, influence, relationships, and opportunities. At the same time I know people that are faithful servants of God who have unspeakable trouble.-Death, loneliness, grief, disease, and economic trials. How do you explain that? I honestly don't have an answer beyond the broken and sinful nature of our Earth.
I appreciate my friends response to my pain. I know he was seeking to do good and provide direction for comfort. At the same time, I know it's not typically that simple. I think there is real value in seeking and serving God. Real spirituality will give way to a connection with God that allows you to experience his presence in both good and bad. I don't deny that. What I do deny is that pain is avoidable simply by following God.
Instead of hearing return to God for healing and restoration, I heard "this wouldn't have happened if you were walking with God. Your relationships would be better if you were 'doing what the Lord wants you to do'." My interpretation of what was being communicated may be way off base. However, for the purposes of this post and processing I'm going to write on my original inclination.
I have been one who "walked with the Lord" in a way that it consumed me. I really tried to order my life around God and faith. I was thinking at most every moment, "is this what God wants me to do?" Yet, the results were not a better life. In fact, it may have resulted in an even more frustrating life as I was so uncertain of what I was doing at any given moment. Nevertheless, my marriage ended in disastrous fashion, my heart was broken, my finances stomped on, and my outlook on life forever changed.
I bring this up because if I were to buy into what was being said I would be lead to believe that my life would find peace and satisfaction if I were to walk after God. I can't tell you that's the truth according to my life experiences, observations, or by the Holy scriptures. The Bible is explicit when Jesus says, "In this world you will have trouble."
I must say that a life of suffering, struggle, and "trouble," is not a life often preached on by our faith leaders. If it is preached on, it is done in the context of soon to come victory or the power that is available to overcome. It's very rare that suffering...lasting, ongoing, suffering, is talked about. Yet, I contend that this is reality for many.
Recently, a friend of mine suffered a very painful happening in their life. Their husband left them without notice, warning, or resources for living. Even worse, they stuck them with massive amounts of debt and sought to do so through a shrewed legal maneuver. My friend has dedicated her life to the service of God and man. She has served as a missionary, raising her own funds to reach out to others. Even after leaving the mission field she sought to serve others vocationally as a therapist. Yet, her strong commitment and service unto God was not enough to thwart the harsh realities of unexpected calamities and pain. Would one recommend that she would find peace by "doing right by the Lord?" Hadn't she already sought to do so....?
It is my firm belief that our commitment to God does not impact the trials or smoothness of life with direct correlation. I know people who openly and purposely defy God, even mocking him, and relatively speaking they have great lives-Money, travel, friends, influence, relationships, and opportunities. At the same time I know people that are faithful servants of God who have unspeakable trouble.-Death, loneliness, grief, disease, and economic trials. How do you explain that? I honestly don't have an answer beyond the broken and sinful nature of our Earth.
I appreciate my friends response to my pain. I know he was seeking to do good and provide direction for comfort. At the same time, I know it's not typically that simple. I think there is real value in seeking and serving God. Real spirituality will give way to a connection with God that allows you to experience his presence in both good and bad. I don't deny that. What I do deny is that pain is avoidable simply by following God.
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