I have had a few life changing events throughout my time. I'd say most of them were death related. There was the summer at age 14 when both my father and my father figure (affectionately known as Da Da) died. That triggered a physiological change in my body that lasted for years to come. I was sick in a way that I had freedom to simply up and leave class without notice. I often did, not always for sickness.
My former wife tells my that I have never been the same since the death of my grandfather. She said that I was edgy, mean. I can't say that I had noticed it before. I also can't deny the validity of what she said. The loss of my grandfather was such a mammoth blow to heart and spirit it was like I died. I don't think I ever recovered or dropped what was left after his death.
During conversation today my best friend told me that I haven't been the same since my wife left me. I didn't deny that. There is no doubt I'm a different person. I told him I'm afraid this may be as good as it gets. There may be no recovery beyond this point. It's kind of sad in a way. I liked the person I used to be. This guy now, is somewhat of a stranger.
I'm a bit concerned because I don't think I will ever be the same. I don't think I'll return to the man I once was. I can't really say I'm going to be a better man because of these events either. I've been corrupted. There is no "system restore" button. I'm like some disfigured war vet. There are enough parts of me left that you recognize me, but I bear the scars of battle, and I will never be the same.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Haunted
I am haunted by loneliness. I am at a time in my life where I truly fear that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life. There are women that are interested in me but I just don't feel them like that. There are others I'm interested in but they don't feel me like that. Such is life. To make things worse, I have come to a clear conclusion that I'm tough to live with.
I say I'm an asshole. My best friend says I'm "unique." I say I'm somewhere beyond nerd. Whatever you call it, I'm not what women want. As my friend put it, "you're a old, white, rich, conservative, republican, man stuck in a young, poor, black man's body." What a mix of values, politics, and race. It won't be hard finding one for that guy...
Truth is, it will be hard. I am thoroughly disgusted by those that hold to liberal politics and have no understanding or interest in understanding their own faith. These are the people I come in contact with all day long. I have lived my life trying to be a values driven, congruent, person. I don't think most people think twice about what they say they believe, what they believe, and how they live out those beliefs. Can't do it. Can't be in union with someone that holds a completely opposite view on life, family, faith, and culture.
This being said, I don't know where to look to find someone that is like me. I'd like to say the church, but that's not true. I'd like to say work, but that's not true. I'd like to say places I like to go like sports bars, the library, or the movies....BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE. I have come across a few women that I find attractive that hold my values and interest. But, things are complicated and although we have shared values we also have shared pain...that is the problem.
So, here I sit by myself on a Sunday night. Lonely. Alone. Scared. This just might be it for the rest of my life. It's not that I have to find someone now. It's just that as I look out over the horizon I'm not seeing any light at the end of this tunnel. I wish I could give up my values and beliefs but that person would not be real. He certainly wouldn't be a man. As I prepare to lay down for the evening I'm haunted by this solitude.
I say I'm an asshole. My best friend says I'm "unique." I say I'm somewhere beyond nerd. Whatever you call it, I'm not what women want. As my friend put it, "you're a old, white, rich, conservative, republican, man stuck in a young, poor, black man's body." What a mix of values, politics, and race. It won't be hard finding one for that guy...
Truth is, it will be hard. I am thoroughly disgusted by those that hold to liberal politics and have no understanding or interest in understanding their own faith. These are the people I come in contact with all day long. I have lived my life trying to be a values driven, congruent, person. I don't think most people think twice about what they say they believe, what they believe, and how they live out those beliefs. Can't do it. Can't be in union with someone that holds a completely opposite view on life, family, faith, and culture.
This being said, I don't know where to look to find someone that is like me. I'd like to say the church, but that's not true. I'd like to say work, but that's not true. I'd like to say places I like to go like sports bars, the library, or the movies....BUT THAT'S NOT TRUE. I have come across a few women that I find attractive that hold my values and interest. But, things are complicated and although we have shared values we also have shared pain...that is the problem.
So, here I sit by myself on a Sunday night. Lonely. Alone. Scared. This just might be it for the rest of my life. It's not that I have to find someone now. It's just that as I look out over the horizon I'm not seeing any light at the end of this tunnel. I wish I could give up my values and beliefs but that person would not be real. He certainly wouldn't be a man. As I prepare to lay down for the evening I'm haunted by this solitude.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
What I'm looking for...
I was asked this week what am I looking for in a woman?
Values-I'm a socially and morally conservative person. I'm not down with legalized drugs, mad blackness, socialism, abortion, or gay marriage (please don't read homophobe). I am a person of faith, family, and values. If a woman is on the opposite side of my core values it's going to be difficult to maintain the relationship. She doesn't have to be in 100% agreement with me but I'm not looking for a lifetime of argument and disagreement on issues that I could have scoped out from the jump.
Faith-I need a woman of faith. Someone that believes in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You don't have to share my denomination (don't have one), but you do have to believe in the one and only begotten son. Faith is the fuel of values and it makes a difference in behavior, lifestyle, and drive. Again, I'm not trying to have an argument over a foreseeable issue.
A Good Heart-My grandmother said that I should look for a girl with a good heart. This came on the heals of a beautiful young woman appearing at her home who had voluntarily helped out my grandmother's friends without pay. Therefore, I'm looking at the actions and behaviors of women. I'm looking at how they treat people. Do they have a charitable heart and so on. For instance, one woman I'm heavily pursuing has taken in a child in the midst of family turmoil. Good heart. That's what I'm looking for.
Understanding-This has become a huge issue for me lately. I need a woman that at the very least makes an effort to understand (not agree) men, me specifically. I find that women that are the most difficult to deal with are those that see their way (that of a woman) as the right way and have no consideration for how a man operates. These are women that have no clue of what makes a man tick, how we function, and what we need. If you don't have that, I'm not interested.
Practicality-I need a woman that is practical. I know far too many women that have Champagne lifestyles with beer money and little drive or desire to work for it. If you have Champagne desires be willing to work for it. If you have beer money, be content. Don't spend your life frustrated because the two don't match and all you're willing to do is complain. I'm not with it.
Honesty-I need an honest woman. Not just honest with me, but with herself. There is no future in forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do. You need to know what you want, need, and are willing to live with. Many women will pretend to get a man and then let the curtain down later. This reads disaster all over it. Been there, done that.
Values-I'm a socially and morally conservative person. I'm not down with legalized drugs, mad blackness, socialism, abortion, or gay marriage (please don't read homophobe). I am a person of faith, family, and values. If a woman is on the opposite side of my core values it's going to be difficult to maintain the relationship. She doesn't have to be in 100% agreement with me but I'm not looking for a lifetime of argument and disagreement on issues that I could have scoped out from the jump.
Faith-I need a woman of faith. Someone that believes in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. You don't have to share my denomination (don't have one), but you do have to believe in the one and only begotten son. Faith is the fuel of values and it makes a difference in behavior, lifestyle, and drive. Again, I'm not trying to have an argument over a foreseeable issue.
A Good Heart-My grandmother said that I should look for a girl with a good heart. This came on the heals of a beautiful young woman appearing at her home who had voluntarily helped out my grandmother's friends without pay. Therefore, I'm looking at the actions and behaviors of women. I'm looking at how they treat people. Do they have a charitable heart and so on. For instance, one woman I'm heavily pursuing has taken in a child in the midst of family turmoil. Good heart. That's what I'm looking for.
Understanding-This has become a huge issue for me lately. I need a woman that at the very least makes an effort to understand (not agree) men, me specifically. I find that women that are the most difficult to deal with are those that see their way (that of a woman) as the right way and have no consideration for how a man operates. These are women that have no clue of what makes a man tick, how we function, and what we need. If you don't have that, I'm not interested.
Practicality-I need a woman that is practical. I know far too many women that have Champagne lifestyles with beer money and little drive or desire to work for it. If you have Champagne desires be willing to work for it. If you have beer money, be content. Don't spend your life frustrated because the two don't match and all you're willing to do is complain. I'm not with it.
Honesty-I need an honest woman. Not just honest with me, but with herself. There is no future in forcing yourself to do something that you don't want to do. You need to know what you want, need, and are willing to live with. Many women will pretend to get a man and then let the curtain down later. This reads disaster all over it. Been there, done that.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
FATHER'S DAY
It's Father's Day weekend and I'm in a very reflective mood. I'm thinking of the joy it has brought me to be a father. I'm thinking of the joy it has brought me to have father figures (My grandfather, family friend I called "Da Da," Step-Father, Coach, and a host of uncles). I'm thinking of the impact they have all had upon my life. And, I'm thinking about the impact those absent from their son's and daughter's lives has upon them, be it physical or emotional.
Nothing has made me more proud than to be a father. I literally sit and stare at my children and take in all of their beauty as products of love. My greatest burden is to properly raise my children in a way that will leave them as good people, people you'd like as friends, neighbors, and co-workers. It is a challenge. Yet, it is a challenge I would gladly accept over and over again.
I often think about the man I am and the man I could have been if my father was more active in my life and had lived longer. I think I might be more aggressive. I think I would have had more of a killer instinct. Instead, I have the sensibilities of a 50+ year old man as passed on to me by my grandfather. He was in the laid back years of life. Consequently, I've picked up those traits. I have thoughts that I might be further along in my attainment of goals had I been socialized by a younger man. To be certain, my grandfather was all man. He was just a man at a different stage in life. I get my irreverence for authority, wit, and arrogance from my grandfather. He was a, "I don't give an F" type of guy. I love and miss him dearly.
There are many good things I learned from my grandfather. I learned how to love my wife from him. He served my grandmother well. He even set up his entire funeral and hers without her knowledge. When he passed away there was little my grandmother had to do to prepare for his funeral. Prior to his death, he kissed my grandmother daily before he left the house and before bed. He never gave up. Even in his late 70's as a double amputee, he continued physical therapy in an effort to learn to walk again to alleviate the wear and tear his daily care had on my grandmother. He was funny, wise, insightful, supportive, and caring. I hope I live up to his mantle.
I think of many of the young men I have work with that expressly stated that they think they would be different if they had a father. Such statements are heart breaking to me. I know how it feels not to have a father, to a degree. I remember the pain I felt when I filed for my marriage license and discovered that there was no name to represent my father on my birth certificate. I was a certified bastard. These young men are emotionally disturbed, socially awkward, criminal in nature, and lack direction. It's a sad commentary on the state of our society.
The impact of fatherlessness is seen in stars such as LeBron James and Chris Brown. LeBron James lacks character in his approach to sports, life, and people in general. He had difficulty showing up for the big moments in his career. He doesn't know how to win. He doesn't know how to lose gracefully and with tact. Instead, he runs off the court. Neither acknowledging his defeat nor congratulating his opponent with a "job well done." He does not handle adversity well. This is a direct reflection of the gaping hole of manly leadership in his life.
Chris Brown has committed the most haneous of sins for any man, beating a woman. To top it all off, he had the nerve to be offended and throw a bitch fit when confronted about his actions. A man may hit a woman, deplorable as that is, but if he is a man he will step up and face his shame. This BOY, did not take responsibility and ran away somehow finding victim status. These are only two of the recent happenings in popular culture that accent the need for men.
As I reflect on Father's Day I have come to the conclusion that Father's Day is not a congratulatory show of thanks for those men that are fathers. Rather, it is a call to responsibility, accountability, and leadership. Father's are needed more today than perhaps at any time in history. Our very survival is dependent upon it.
Nothing has made me more proud than to be a father. I literally sit and stare at my children and take in all of their beauty as products of love. My greatest burden is to properly raise my children in a way that will leave them as good people, people you'd like as friends, neighbors, and co-workers. It is a challenge. Yet, it is a challenge I would gladly accept over and over again.
I often think about the man I am and the man I could have been if my father was more active in my life and had lived longer. I think I might be more aggressive. I think I would have had more of a killer instinct. Instead, I have the sensibilities of a 50+ year old man as passed on to me by my grandfather. He was in the laid back years of life. Consequently, I've picked up those traits. I have thoughts that I might be further along in my attainment of goals had I been socialized by a younger man. To be certain, my grandfather was all man. He was just a man at a different stage in life. I get my irreverence for authority, wit, and arrogance from my grandfather. He was a, "I don't give an F" type of guy. I love and miss him dearly.
There are many good things I learned from my grandfather. I learned how to love my wife from him. He served my grandmother well. He even set up his entire funeral and hers without her knowledge. When he passed away there was little my grandmother had to do to prepare for his funeral. Prior to his death, he kissed my grandmother daily before he left the house and before bed. He never gave up. Even in his late 70's as a double amputee, he continued physical therapy in an effort to learn to walk again to alleviate the wear and tear his daily care had on my grandmother. He was funny, wise, insightful, supportive, and caring. I hope I live up to his mantle.
I think of many of the young men I have work with that expressly stated that they think they would be different if they had a father. Such statements are heart breaking to me. I know how it feels not to have a father, to a degree. I remember the pain I felt when I filed for my marriage license and discovered that there was no name to represent my father on my birth certificate. I was a certified bastard. These young men are emotionally disturbed, socially awkward, criminal in nature, and lack direction. It's a sad commentary on the state of our society.
The impact of fatherlessness is seen in stars such as LeBron James and Chris Brown. LeBron James lacks character in his approach to sports, life, and people in general. He had difficulty showing up for the big moments in his career. He doesn't know how to win. He doesn't know how to lose gracefully and with tact. Instead, he runs off the court. Neither acknowledging his defeat nor congratulating his opponent with a "job well done." He does not handle adversity well. This is a direct reflection of the gaping hole of manly leadership in his life.
Chris Brown has committed the most haneous of sins for any man, beating a woman. To top it all off, he had the nerve to be offended and throw a bitch fit when confronted about his actions. A man may hit a woman, deplorable as that is, but if he is a man he will step up and face his shame. This BOY, did not take responsibility and ran away somehow finding victim status. These are only two of the recent happenings in popular culture that accent the need for men.
As I reflect on Father's Day I have come to the conclusion that Father's Day is not a congratulatory show of thanks for those men that are fathers. Rather, it is a call to responsibility, accountability, and leadership. Father's are needed more today than perhaps at any time in history. Our very survival is dependent upon it.
Saturday, June 11, 2011
I'M TIRED!
My life seems to grow ever frustrating day by day. The pain of my lost marriage has mildly diminished. Like a sore that you think is healed when tested reveals all the pain that remains. My finances are pitiful. I should be on welfare and I soon may be. No matter what I do, eat at home, eat out, spend other peoples money, it all ends the same-BROKE! My love life is shitty. Much of it is dependent upon an improved financial standing (if any hope of a lasting relationship). And to top it all off, a woman that seems to give herself freely most men treats my affection like it's a virus. Rejected by the rejected.
I really can't take much more at this point. I'm tired. I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of the bullshit. Pray, don't pray. All the same. Serve, don't serve. All the same. Worship, don't worship. Results all the same. I am cursed. I am unlovable. I am a loser of the lowest kind. I'm a worthless human being. A man that is less than a man as I can't take care of my own business. I shared in a sacrifice that is now eating my ass alive and I can't escape it. Even worse, the one I sacrificed for is long gone and on to new things.
I am an ever complimented never winning soul. I have all types of confirmed talents and no outlet, no pay day, no fruition. What is a man to do? What can a man do? Live, if you can even call this life, this way till death? Why not hasten the process? I work hard. I study. I follow. I do what is right. Yet, all I seem to get is wrong. Even when I think I have a blessing it turns out to be a curse. I can only account this to myself. Others seem to handle things significantly better than I. Times like these I just feel like, "Fuck It! I'm tired."
I really can't take much more at this point. I'm tired. I'm tired of struggling. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of the bullshit. Pray, don't pray. All the same. Serve, don't serve. All the same. Worship, don't worship. Results all the same. I am cursed. I am unlovable. I am a loser of the lowest kind. I'm a worthless human being. A man that is less than a man as I can't take care of my own business. I shared in a sacrifice that is now eating my ass alive and I can't escape it. Even worse, the one I sacrificed for is long gone and on to new things.
I am an ever complimented never winning soul. I have all types of confirmed talents and no outlet, no pay day, no fruition. What is a man to do? What can a man do? Live, if you can even call this life, this way till death? Why not hasten the process? I work hard. I study. I follow. I do what is right. Yet, all I seem to get is wrong. Even when I think I have a blessing it turns out to be a curse. I can only account this to myself. Others seem to handle things significantly better than I. Times like these I just feel like, "Fuck It! I'm tired."
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
I GET WHAT I WANT OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP
I hear the statement, "I GET WHAT I WANT OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP" from women all too often. This is not a positive affirmation. It's a statement of justification, cover up, and face saving. This is a response given when things have not gone as desired in a relationship. It's a statement of defeat, not victory.
I was having a conversation with a beautiful young woman (I must certify beauty when I see it) about the nature of her relationships. She was adamant that a man/men can provide such lavish gifts as trips to Chicago, Vegas, Baltimore, and high fashion items without any expectation of sex. I don't believe this. I don't even think she believed it as it came out of her mouth. Short of these men being blood relatives, that's just not happening.
When I asked the woman why she wasn't dating this man, the one providing all this for her, instead of being "friends she replied, "Because he won't settle down." An odd response for a woman that said that she has no interest in settling down. Anyway, I told her that she might as well date a man with means as oppose to a "average" man. I said, The average man will cheat on you. It was at this point that she defensively stated, "I get what I want out of the relationship."
I don't believe women ever have a desire to be used or simply to engage in sexual activity (there are some but they are few). I also don't think women get a kick out of exchanging sex for money or goods. That's prostitution. Most women would rather give it for free than carry that weight around. Hence, I am stating what I have long believed, any statements close to this post' title is a confirmation of dissatisfaction on the woman's part.
If you're a woman, don't fool yourself. Stop the madness. If you have to justify your interactions with men then I'm going to bet that's not a relationship you want. I know it's tough but put yourself on pause. Find out what you really want in a relationship and then go get it. I don't like to see anybody get used or feel less than. Don't just get what you want, get reciprocation.
I was having a conversation with a beautiful young woman (I must certify beauty when I see it) about the nature of her relationships. She was adamant that a man/men can provide such lavish gifts as trips to Chicago, Vegas, Baltimore, and high fashion items without any expectation of sex. I don't believe this. I don't even think she believed it as it came out of her mouth. Short of these men being blood relatives, that's just not happening.
When I asked the woman why she wasn't dating this man, the one providing all this for her, instead of being "friends she replied, "Because he won't settle down." An odd response for a woman that said that she has no interest in settling down. Anyway, I told her that she might as well date a man with means as oppose to a "average" man. I said, The average man will cheat on you. It was at this point that she defensively stated, "I get what I want out of the relationship."
I don't believe women ever have a desire to be used or simply to engage in sexual activity (there are some but they are few). I also don't think women get a kick out of exchanging sex for money or goods. That's prostitution. Most women would rather give it for free than carry that weight around. Hence, I am stating what I have long believed, any statements close to this post' title is a confirmation of dissatisfaction on the woman's part.
If you're a woman, don't fool yourself. Stop the madness. If you have to justify your interactions with men then I'm going to bet that's not a relationship you want. I know it's tough but put yourself on pause. Find out what you really want in a relationship and then go get it. I don't like to see anybody get used or feel less than. Don't just get what you want, get reciprocation.
BE GOOD, BE QUIET, OR BE HONEST
I have a passionate and distinct hatred for liars. Dishonesty is detestable to me. It is cowardly and holds no honor. It shows weakness and a lack of character. Lying does nothing to promote love, peace, harmony, or satisfaction in any relationship. There is only one thing I hate more than a liar......a bad liar.
I have rarely lied during the course of my life. If I have done so it was to avoid deeply harming someones feelings or for the protection of the innocent. Since I hate lying I do my best to find diplomatic ways of getting the point across in touchy situations. Despite my distaste for lying I do hold one rule when it comes to the practice-BE GOOD.
If you're going to be a liar have some skill with it. There are a handful of folks that are just awful liars that I have had the unfortunate opportunity of crossing paths with. They are folks that lie so much they tell lies about their lies that clearly show they were lying. These aren't lies told days, weeks, or months apart. These are lies that are sometimes told moments apart. Sometimes the affect (physical expression or mood) doesn't match up with the words coming out of the mouth.
Such actions indicate that you are either a lazy person that isn't willing to put in the brain power needed to keep lies straight. Or, you care so little about others that you aren't willing to put forth the effort to keep your lies straight. Or.....you are lying to yourself and therefore it doesn't matter if others believe you or not as long as YOU believe YOU. Horrible, simply horrible. Is there anything worse than a person fooling only themselves while believing they're fooling others. It's embarrassing.
So, with all that said I have one response to liars...."Be good, Be quiet, or Be honest." If you can't be good, be quiet. If you can't be quiet, be honest. And, if you can't be honest, God have mercy on your soul. Honesty is the best policy for yourself, others, and the world in general.
I have rarely lied during the course of my life. If I have done so it was to avoid deeply harming someones feelings or for the protection of the innocent. Since I hate lying I do my best to find diplomatic ways of getting the point across in touchy situations. Despite my distaste for lying I do hold one rule when it comes to the practice-BE GOOD.
If you're going to be a liar have some skill with it. There are a handful of folks that are just awful liars that I have had the unfortunate opportunity of crossing paths with. They are folks that lie so much they tell lies about their lies that clearly show they were lying. These aren't lies told days, weeks, or months apart. These are lies that are sometimes told moments apart. Sometimes the affect (physical expression or mood) doesn't match up with the words coming out of the mouth.
Such actions indicate that you are either a lazy person that isn't willing to put in the brain power needed to keep lies straight. Or, you care so little about others that you aren't willing to put forth the effort to keep your lies straight. Or.....you are lying to yourself and therefore it doesn't matter if others believe you or not as long as YOU believe YOU. Horrible, simply horrible. Is there anything worse than a person fooling only themselves while believing they're fooling others. It's embarrassing.
So, with all that said I have one response to liars...."Be good, Be quiet, or Be honest." If you can't be good, be quiet. If you can't be quiet, be honest. And, if you can't be honest, God have mercy on your soul. Honesty is the best policy for yourself, others, and the world in general.
Black Guys and White Girls
The other night while on my movie marathon I noticed a bi-racial couple (black man, white woman). While we all waited to enter the movie theater I noticed that the man was loud, comical, expressive, and outgoing. He reserved no comments for his party alone. Instead, he engaged complete strangers in appropriate and inappropriate ways.
As I observed his behavior this got me to thinking about the type of black men I know that date and or are married to white women. Keep in mind this is a generalization. A majority of the black men I know that are with white women are tremendously expressive. They are usually outgoing guys, lacking in "swag." Another way to put it is that they are, "CORNY."
I find this interesting because as I thought about it I was thinking, "Black women just don't entertain that type of behavior." Not that it's good or bad. It just seems that black women have been bread for the "cool." In fact, I've heard younger black women speak about how well known a man is or what his swag is, as categories for measurement when considering relationships. I don't think this is the case among other ethnicity's.
When I think more deeply about all this I've noticed black men with so-called "game" speaking absolute gibberish to women. Sad thing is, it seems to work. I can't tell you how many men I've witnessed gain a woman's attention, phone number, and panties off some nonsense. I said to myself, "if that's game I won't have it. I prefer to be intelligent." And, it doesn't seem to matter what the social-economic standing of a woman is. Whether educated, graduated, crossed over, or the like, these women seem to be attracted to quiet foolishness.
So, why is it that black women will put up with "ignorant game" but not with comical expression (Corniness)? What's the deal. These men are good dedicated men. They're just being themselves. Many of them didn't go out looking for a white woman. They just found that a white woman accepted them. One guy I know well dated a black woman and was dumped only to find out that she preferred a more thuggish abuse mate. What is that about?
Whatever it is, it seems that there is a segment of the black population that is non-compatible with each other. The proper speaking, outgoing, non-thuggish, loving, caring, man, seems to have no place with the black woman. He does however have a place with white women. Everybody wants to be loved for who they are as they are. If that can't happen in your ethnicity then go for yours where you are accepted as you.
As I observed his behavior this got me to thinking about the type of black men I know that date and or are married to white women. Keep in mind this is a generalization. A majority of the black men I know that are with white women are tremendously expressive. They are usually outgoing guys, lacking in "swag." Another way to put it is that they are, "CORNY."
I find this interesting because as I thought about it I was thinking, "Black women just don't entertain that type of behavior." Not that it's good or bad. It just seems that black women have been bread for the "cool." In fact, I've heard younger black women speak about how well known a man is or what his swag is, as categories for measurement when considering relationships. I don't think this is the case among other ethnicity's.
When I think more deeply about all this I've noticed black men with so-called "game" speaking absolute gibberish to women. Sad thing is, it seems to work. I can't tell you how many men I've witnessed gain a woman's attention, phone number, and panties off some nonsense. I said to myself, "if that's game I won't have it. I prefer to be intelligent." And, it doesn't seem to matter what the social-economic standing of a woman is. Whether educated, graduated, crossed over, or the like, these women seem to be attracted to quiet foolishness.
So, why is it that black women will put up with "ignorant game" but not with comical expression (Corniness)? What's the deal. These men are good dedicated men. They're just being themselves. Many of them didn't go out looking for a white woman. They just found that a white woman accepted them. One guy I know well dated a black woman and was dumped only to find out that she preferred a more thuggish abuse mate. What is that about?
Whatever it is, it seems that there is a segment of the black population that is non-compatible with each other. The proper speaking, outgoing, non-thuggish, loving, caring, man, seems to have no place with the black woman. He does however have a place with white women. Everybody wants to be loved for who they are as they are. If that can't happen in your ethnicity then go for yours where you are accepted as you.
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