The 22

I have so much going on right now that I feel like my head is spinning. On one hand, life is grand. I'm winning the heart of a spectacular woman, gaining new responsibilities at work, enjoying my children, and lifting more weight than ever. On the other hand, the problem that has haunted me for what feels like forever is still there; MONEY.

It's not like I haven't tried to stop this from being an issue. I've hardly eat out anymore. I got rid of cable. I got a new Internet provider at half price. My kids child care was cut in half. I don't travel. I don't shop. I don't buy gadgets. I live a very simple life. Yet, I can't seem to get this money thing straight. As soon as I take care of one issue another arise (sometimes 3 or 4 arise).

I've been applying for part time jobs left and right. I even interviewed and thought I had what I needed; an evening, weekdays only job, for about 20 hours a week. I thought wrong-REJECTED. Now I'm looking and applying to all types of jobs. Problem is most of them want you on weekends. At this point it looks like I'm going to have to bite the bullet and go for it.

I'm still getting my house, car, school loans, and utilities in order. Plus, I've got needed repairs to my car, hot water tank, new beds for the kids, and on and on... I'd like to dump my car. It's killing me on gas. But I can't because I still owe money and with my credit as it is now I'll just be creating another problem. I'd like to work closer to home. However, it's doubtful I'd find anything paying close to what I'm making now. Plus, things are going well at work and I'd hate to flush that down the toilet. I'm stuck.

A second job means less time with my kids, the woman I'm pursuing, my friends, the gym, and plain old relaxation. But if I don't get a second job it likely means ongoing stress, possible loss of home, lack of stability for my children, and a ticking time bomb of destruction for the relationship I'm forming now. That being said I'm gonna have to bend over and take it. This is the current state of my life. No way around it.

I would've liked to have found something in my field on a part time basis but they don't want me despite my work experience and credentials. There are no promotion opportunities at work to go for right now. What looked like a promising work from home job paying about 15k more a year disappeared overnight, literally. Hence, I'm going to be relegated to working at the golden arches (that's if they'll have me). I'm submitting my application today.

It's sad to think a man with two degrees, a great work ethic and reputation, once asked to apply for a promotion by the department head will now be asking "How may I help you?" from a drive thru window. This is where life has brought me. I must do what I have to so I can do what I want to. And I want to be free of so many things. It's a catch 22. The risk way out way the reward of not doing this. So, here I go.