The Myth of the Weak Man

A response to my previous post serves as cause for this post. My questioning of culture as oppose to color as a reason why some date cross culturally was met with the stereotypical, "Weak Black Man" response. I couldn't help myself but to respond to such an allegation. Hard as I may have tried...

A man, certainly not a black man, is not weak because he embraces and finds love in other cultures. In many ways it shows a great deal of strength and character. It is well known the critical eye that falls upon those in bi-racial relationships. Things have improved from just a decade ago. Yet, all hassles of cross cultural dating have not come to an end. This is evidenced by the "weak black man" statement alone.

A black man that dates cross culturally has to deal with the sneers of his female counterparts as well as the family/community of the one he is dating. If a man is weak for choosing the very questioning of his manhood over the comfort of affirmation for the sake of love, then he is either a glutton for punishment or courageous. Plus, not to mention the possible ridicule of his own family.

Please allow me to ask these questions, "Why do black women require such incredibly strong men?" "Are men of other races weak when they date outside of their race?" "Are men that are not black but date black women of greater metal than the average man?" "Why are black women such a special class of woman that they repel weakness and supposedly attract strength?"

Please let me reiterate my point, ITS NOT ABOUT COLOR, ITS ABOUT CULTURE! MEN DO NOT WANT COMPETITION, THEY WANT A WIFE! There is a time for women to be strong. I would submit that those times are for moments outside of the home. This is not to say that a woman should be a doormat at home. Moreso, to say that women should allow a man to care for them and provide. At best they should be a team. The two should compliment each other by filling in the weak spots and adding to the strengths. There is no room for competition in a relationship.

If a black man has to be weak to be satisfied I say go for it. If a black man has to be miserable to be strong...TO HELL WITH IT! It's really sad. My experience with those that sit in judgement on a black man dating someone outside of their race has been that the critical person has no personal interest in the man she is demanding stay faithful to his color. In such cases I ask, "So the man should stay single to please you?" Absurd!

I can tell you that what is weak is the inability to be self-reflective. The refusal to look inward and ask yourself, "Is it me?" It's weak when you won't ask yourself, "Would I want to be with me?" Think about that. Would you want to live with yourself? Are you fun? Do you bring joy? To you add to others? If you are a person that others desire then you will be desirable across the board. If you're not, then you will be limited to guilting black men into dating you for the privilege of being called strong.