UP, DOWN AND OUT

A few weeks ago I had my first casino experience. It was a thrilling three hours. I was up. I was down. I was up again, down again, and finally out. It was probably the funnest $20 I've spent. There was the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, and finally the reality that I didn't want to lose anymore money. Pumped with adrenaline I had a flash of confidence. With that confidence I did something I almost never do. I asked someone out that violates some of my rules for dating.

My invitation for a night out was much like my casino experience. I was up, down, and I might be out. The person I asked out seemed as shocked about my request as I was about my burst of boldness. At first I was going to lie and claim that it was simply an April's fools joke. That was the back up plan for rejection. Yet, being the way I am I told them the truth and my back up plan. They got a good laugh out of it as I knew they would.

The problem is, I'm not sure where things stand. I was given reasons why they would go out with me. Reasons why they wouldn't. All that included the offer of there phone number and conversation. Yet, no number has come. Seeking to take the pressure off, I offered my phone number. It has yet to be used. I figured that since I didn't get the digits, the number, or a simple text message that I had crashed and burned. GAME OVER! However, I can't seem to close the door on my hopes for success.

This person has maintained contact with me and jokes quite regularly. This has left me confused as can be. As I've said before, I'm horrible at reading people when I'm engaged in it up close and personal. On one hand I would think that if you weren't interested you would avoid me like the plague. On the other hand, I'm thinking they may be interested because they continue to engage. So much like my casino experience I have an opportunity to cash in my chips and check out. Much like the casino experience I'm going to hang around till I'm spent.

What might be even more crazy is that I don't have a strong desire to engage in physical contact. I really just want to spend time with the person. I'm not sure what that's about. Emotional interest is normally accompanied by physical attraction and a strong desire to "GET IT ON!" I am attracted to this woman. I think she has a classic beauty. At the same time, sex is so far away from my mind. I think that's a good thing. I'll let you know how it all turns out. For right now I'm going to stay my hand.