SEX CAN BE BORING

I never once thought I'd say these words but, "SEX CAN BE BORING." This isn't to say that sex isn't always pleasurable. As long as it ends right that's a given. Yet, despite the pleasure it's not always exciting. Once you get past the pure surface pleasure of it all there is an issue of real intimacy.

I've found that sex is incredibly boring if you lack true connection. It's a physical activity akin to exercise with an explosive ending. I've found that I need to feel a deep commitment to the person in order to have a full experience. This is absent of skill, exploration, or other things. It feels empty without the binding of the hearts.

I've found that I need passion and desire that goes far beyond the physical. I always have passion and desire for sex. I'm a man. It comes with the package. What is not always present is the passion and desire for the person that one may be engaged with. In such situations I feel guilty...selfish even. Sex is designed to bring people closer together. It is the climax (no pun intended) of emotional, intellectual, spiritual, and relational intimacy. It's the cherry on top. That's missing when it's just sex.

I may have taken such things for granted in the past. I was passionate. I thought I was connected. Since I'm a man and wasn't focusing on it I'm sure I wasn't. These things are needed for a satisfying sex life. Sex is needed for a satisfying romantic relationship. They feed and build one on top of another. Sex is not what I'm after. I'm after love. I'm after intimacy. I'm after connection.