No Shame

I notice that there are times when I am attracted to a woman and feel a shamd if that attraction is not reciprocated. I don't know why I feel this way but I do. I tend to hold that I am normal and so I imagine that others feel weird as well when they are not recieved well after expressing their interest. I don't think feeling this way is right.

I'm not making a comment on morality. I'm making a comment on general thoughts and feelings that result from rejection. Why should a person feel bad because they are attracted to an individual? You feel what you feel. That's real. I've recently had such an encounter and I almost felt bad because I expressed my heart and was met with a meandering replay of "maybe"...or "no," or something (I may talk about that later).

There I was embarrassed I ever opened my mouth and said anything about what I was feeling inside. I was thinking, "How stupid could you be?" "You let your heart lead you to believe you had a chance!" But why would I feel that way? I'm attracted to this individual. I wanted to engage them in a relationship. I said my piece and let the chips fall where they fell. I don't see where I did something wrong.

Maybe I don't see where I did something wrong because I didn't do anything wrong. I was honest. I was respectful. I was bold. I got rejected. That's life. Nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing to feel bad about. In reality, as I reframe this, I feel that I should be proud of myself. I overcame my fears of rejection and laid it on the table. It wasn't presentation. It wasn't the product. I believe it was a matter of preference that resulted in my rejection. I can live with that. I can live with that rather easily.

I was seeking to know the person of interest better. I wanted to know them beyond the surface of what I saw on a daily basis. What I knew of I liked and wanted to know more. I had not pledged my heart to them. This was not a marriage proposal. This was not a request for lifetime commitment. It was simply a request for a date. I can't live life living and dying on every yes and every no. I don't advise that you live your life that way either. I recommend that you look at things as they are. Don't underestimate them. Don't catastrophize them. Don't feel shame. Live, love, risk, try, recover, and start over.