What is Necessary

As time goes on it has become more and more apparent that things are not going to go the way I desire. I have tried to reduce my expences, yet I'm still behind. I've searched and searched for part time employment, from working as a therapist to literally mopping the floors, there's been no luck. I've eaten at home, only driven to work and back, no movies, no dating, no hanging out...still I come up short. Having done all I can I am now seeing that I will have to do what is neccessary.

I've even tried to get a promotion. Funny thing is, I only ended up with more responsibility and a pat on the back (story of my life). I recently applied for a position that would pay $20K more per a year than I currently make. The basic qualification were basically that you can read, write, and follow benchmarks. Besides my simple assessment of the job, I meet the requirements. Yet, after applying for the job I didn't get a call for an interview. No big deal. I figured they already had in mind who they wanted. However, this apparently isn't the truth. The job was reposted (nothing like a smack in the face than applying for a job you're qualified for and seeing it reposted without an interview). That promptem me to contact the CEO and ask what exactly they were looking for?

The CEO responded to my inquiry by stating they were looking for someone with experience (spelled out) at pretty much having the job. Funny thing is, nobody in the building besides the person that has the job currently would have that experience. Nevertheless, he did direct me to the positions current holder. I in turn contacted them and asked if I could have some of their time to see what exactly the job is about. I would later come to find out that the job was offered to a person that didn't apply for it with similar credentials to mine. As one person said, "If they want you to have it, you'll have it." Problem is, I can never seem to figure out how to get people to want me to have it. Skills, work ethic, talent, none of that seems to matter.

So, becuase I can't help myself I will continue on with this exercise in futility. I suppose there is an ever slim chance, but like most things in life I won't count on it. I just can't figure it out. I've got education, an excellent track record, and drive...somethings missing. In any event, my lack of ability to obtain a second job, get a promotion, cut my expenses to the bone, and win the lottery have left me with few choices.

That choice is looking more and more like bankruptcy. I despise the thought of it. I'm not a person that feels that company's are evil and that they deserve to get stiffed on what I owe. I'm just being a realist at this time. The reality is, I don't make enough money to support what was once two incomes with one, the economy sucks and there are few opportunities for growth, a second job, or a substantial raise. Simply put, you can't get blood out of a turnip-no matter how hard you squeeze it. This is what I have been reduced to-a Bumb.

This will be my second bout with such a shameful act. The first was nearly 8 years ago. At that time, my spouse quit her job to to pursue her master's degree. That plunged us into financial ruin. With her focus on education we were left with no other choice (outside of going against her desires). I fought for as long as I could until I could fight no longer. Much the same as today. Yet, here I am again in the same place, my spouses desires destroying my finances and leaving me in bankruptcy while she does what she wants to do. I now must do what is neccessary.