Over the course of the past 12 months I have been asked if I have made any headway with my wife? This question resurfaces over and over again despite my declaration that this union is over. Recently my wife sent me a text stating that she has lost all hope for reconciliation. I replied stating that I lost all hope a long time ago. "I'm a man with pride, ego, and heart. The woman I married died a long time ago as far as I'm concerned."
Most of the people that ask me this question are women. In addition to that, many women I've talked to that know without a shadow of a doubt that their husbands/boyfriends have cheated on them have chosen to stay. This has led me to wonder if men and women are built differently concerning how they handle infidelity? I believe they are.
Many of the women that I've spoken with have various reasons for why they've decided to stay. Many have children to consider. Some have financial responsibilities that they can not maintain without their partner. Some, have settled that all men cheat. That is my grandmother's perspective. She has stated repeatedly over my life that all men cheat. Whatever it is, this staying power doesn't seem to be present in men.
Men don't have a worldview that accepts unfaithfulness on the part of the woman. I think that something to do with the general make-up of both men and women concerning sex. For men, sex is physical...purely physical in most cases. Men are visual beings, easily aroused by what they see, and ready to act at a moments notice. For men, sex is just that sex. The presence of passion and desire aren't always present. Men can have sex and move on like they just shook hands. Nothing more, nothing less. It's true when a man says, "I was just fucking her, I love you." I know it seems impossible but it can be.
Women don't function like this by and large. Certainly, more and more you are seeing women that engage in sex like men and claim they have know emotional effects. I don't believe this is the case for most women. When a woman has sex with a man it's normally because he has captured her heart in some shape or form. It is not a simple fulfilling of physical desire. Instead, it's a connection of emotion, intellect, and body. For women, the giving of their bodies is the giving of their hearts.
The difference between the two sexes is the very source of the problem. Women can deal and recover from the infidelity of a man because of how men engage. It's not that it isn't extremely painful. It's not that it doesn't have lasting, damaging effects on the relationship. It's the fact that if a man has a sex with a woman he is not giving his heart. It's the woman that he's living to live with, support, and suffer with that has caught his heart. Other women are likely just a piece of ass.
If this was the case for women men could probably recover a little better. If women viewed men as just a "dick." A means to an end, then men could probably deal. That simply isn't reality. Truth is, when a woman's gone...she's gone. Once you take it their ain't no coming back. I wish that women would recognize this difference in men and particularly the difference in me. I'm not looking to reconcile. I'm not holding out hope for a reckoning. I'm done. Once she took it there, AIN'T NO COMING BACK.
No comments:
Post a Comment