EPIDEMIC

The journey of my marital relationship has brought me in contact with many different people. Some old. Some young. Some my very age. What has been consistent is the presence of infidelity. Most of those that have shared this painful part of their lives with me have been women. Some have been men. What has surprised me is the incredible numbers of people that have been hit with news that their spouse has been unfaithful.

I have come to find that folks that have been married for decades or more, have strong public appearances, or that are even in ministry have suffered the pain of infidelity. If you watch the news or at all socially conscious you likely have an awareness of the fear that HIV/AIDS will one day become an epidemic. This really hasn't been the case. What has been the case and in growing numbers is the epidemic of infidelity.

Cheating is off the charts. Men lie, women lie. Hell, you have down low folks which is cheating on a whole notha' level. It is as though we have become animals driven by instinct and without thought or logic. There is a hilarious scene in the movie The Five Heartbeats where a man is being encouraged to seek help for his sexual activities. The man's brother, Duck, says, "Hi, my name is JT and I can't control my dick." It was a comical statement on the man's inability to be faithful. I think most the nation could repeat that statement right about now.

Dr. Drew said that he believes people have fallen to a state of being where they struggle with the ability to be intimate in any other way than sexually and therefore they cheat. My therapist stated that people who cheat enjoy the thrill of the adrenaline brought on by the sneaking around. It's addictive, hard to produce in a committed relationship, and fades after time requiring a new lover. Essentially we are becoming more animalistic.

I've never cheated in my life. I've had thoughts, desires, and even dreams. However, I've never hugged a woman, touched a woman, kept a woman's number or met a woman in secret. Cheating is not my thing. This epidemic makes it hard to trust people. It makes it hard to let your heart be free to be open and penetrated by the presence and substance of another. I will always have some level of trepidation concerning relationships.

The cheating epidemic is destroying lives, families, hearts, and future generations. Where is the push to stop this disease? There was a move by President Bush to require marriage counseling before divorces could be granted. I'm not saying the government should mandate such things but the heart of the issue is important. Children are best raised in families. Sex is safest in committed relationships. A change needs to happen and happen quickly. We may be looking at the end of monogamy. I hope not.