8 Reasons why you shouldn't get in a relationship

LONELINESS

Loneliness has stricken every one of us at some point in time. As the saying goes, "You can be in a room full of people and still be lonely." Loneliness is not about a lack of company, but a lack connection. All too often, people feeling lonely become desperate. They grab the first person they see that is available and they "think" they can stand. This is a terrible mistake. What people have come to find is that they remain lonely and now they have a problem on their hands.

IT'S SENSIBLE

Please hear me clearly on this point. I am not saying that you should throw common sense to the wind when it comes to choosing a mate. What I am saying is that you have to have more than a "sensible" decision for a lifetime partner and lover. You need to have some level of passion. So many people have gone old school and married a person because they made sense. They had their life together, they were a good person, they seem like a (dare I say it) nice guy. Although things make sense they won't end well. Passion doesn't last forever and love needs to mature. However, passion is the glue and the bridge to that more mature love.

SEX

I know I just said that you need to have passion in your romantic life to make it work, but SEX can not be the primary reason for moving forward in a relationship. It's nice if a person can rock your world and leave you sore in a good way. But, you need much more than that to make a real go at a successful relationship. Intimacy has to go beyond just the physical. That too will wear out.

There is another side of sex that must be addressed. For those that are seeking to live by God's Word and hold off on sex till marriage (a noble and healthy decision) this needs to be addressed as well. These types of folks feel the pressure and desire for sex that it becomes overwhelming at some point. Hence they make a decision, largely motivated by sex drive, to get hitched so they can have wild monkey sex and feel no guilt. Not a good idea...need I say more.

AGE

The song Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge had a horrible message in it. There is a line that says, "We ain't gettin' no younger, we might as well do it." That is not sensible at all. It wreaks of desperation and will certainly set you on a course for disappointment. There is a natural maturity that comes with age and a person may come to realize that they want to settle down and start a family. That's cool. Doing it cause the AARP is sending you mail...not a good idea.

KIDS

Although I think marriage is a good move for families as a whole and children in particular, it's not the best solution to unplanned pregnancy. If people were dedicated to the institution of marriage and really working on the relationship to raise their kids in a stable home that would be wonderful. However, people just aren't. Instead, kids will be exposed to a poor relational environment where parties feel resentment toward one another and eventually end in separation and divorce. This would be additional pain for all involved.

MONEY

I am a fan of money. As life has been set out before me, I have not been able to obtain it in the way I'd hoped yet. I stress the word "YET." In fact, I am on the look out for a female sponsor of sorts (that's another story). Despite my own desires to be Mr. Mom, money is not a good reason for hooking up. Eventually one party feels used. Another feels cheap. Both hate each other and could end up broke.


COMPETITION

This might sound ridiculous, but competition is a major issue among women in particular. I know of a real life story where two women were fighting over the same man. One won (if you can call it winning) and one lost. The one that won married the man. Turned out to be an abusive relationship. The woman would come to realize she never knew or loved the guy. It was all about competition. This type of thing might happen to men, but not nearly as much as it does women.

CAUSE YOU WANT TO

If you hook up with some one on the sole basis of wanting to that is a bad omen. It's not about love. It's not about marriage. It's not even about your "mate." It's about you. The person you are hooking up with is just the final piece to your puzzle. A self centered relationship is no relationship at all. Check yourself before you wreck yourself.