FLIRT

When I was in college I had an encounter my freshman year that has always slightly disturbed me and has never left my mind. Being new to the college scene my head was ready to explode with the plethora of fine women available. Don't get me wrong, I knew fine women growing up, but the concentration of them in one place was much greater.

There were women to the left of me. Women to the right. They were of all ethic backgrounds, shapes, sizes, colors, cultures. It was incredible. Being exposed to so many options I figured I would take my chances and go for the gusto. I spotted this fine young thang from Peru. She was gorgeous. I said to myself, "Why not go for her?" That was mistake number one.

Being a nerd like I was (and still am) I figured I would go for some smooth tv type shit that would knock her off her feet. So, I came up with a plan to use my literary skill and wow her with poetry. It was fool proof! What girl doesn't go head over heals for that stuff? Oh yes, I know...girls that live in the real world. I did write the poem. But, it needed a test run before I would present it to the new found woman of my dreams.

I took the work to a dorm mate in my building and asked her if women enjoyed poetry. She agreed that it would work (and I found out why a little later). As time would show, this young lady thought I was hitting on her. Since she was already in a relationship she had a "let down" speech prepared for me to kick me to the curb in a gentle manner.

Needless to say, her speech was uncomfortable for the both of us. It wasn't until half way through that I realized that she was shutting me down. Problem was, it wasn't her I was after. She went from considerate, to embarrassed, to offended. She told me that my wife would have a tough time with me because I was a flirt and she couldn't tell the difference. I denied this and said I was just a nice guy (more on that later).

Unfortunately, she was right on both counts. My wife did have a tough time with being married to me, as she accused me of flirting with just about every woman I've ever worked with, and I am a flirt. I came to the conclusion a few days ago that I am a flirt. It's part of my natural charm and interaction with people. I listen to women, I joke, and I press the limits of acceptable conversation at time. Since it's masked in the joke it doesn't have the abrasive effect some might expect. It's my personality not an intentionally used tool for picking up women.

I have come to accept that I'm funny, witty, and engaging. It's sad that this has had such a negative impact on my relationship. I'm funny, witty, and engaging with men as well but it is taken in a completely different way. As I always say, knowing the truth is the first step to addressing the issue. I'm a flirt. Where I go from here I don't know. At least I can admit that much at this time.