NO MORE SECRETS

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a beautiful wedding with great and deserving people. During the ceremony the officiating pastor stated that there are to be no more secrets from this day forth. She repeated the statement. I thought to myself if only they will heed her warning.

It was the secrets that destroyed my marriage. It was the secret that my wife didn't love me. It was the secret that my wife had found another. It was the secret that she didn't know why she married me from the start. It was the secret that she was calling, texting, thinking of, and meeting with another.

If only people would be honest from the start they could avoid so much grief, so much shame, so much embarrassment and mess. I'm honest and up front about my thoughts and intentions. I am often thought of as crass or cruel for my honesty. I often think, "Who's really the cruel one here?"

Is up front honesty cruel compared to hidden desire, passion, and plans that destroy a family, children, friends...a man? Is it more cruel to allow people to go on as though things are normal when in fact things are out of place? I often think about people who call themselves friends and allow you to walk around with boogies hanging from your nose or your pants stuck in your socks (or some other embarrassing thing that could easily be fixed) without saying a word. Isn't that cruel?

Honesty is not cruel. Certainly, it can be presented in a manner that is destructive. It will have that effect if that is one's intentions in sharing it. One must use tact when presenting the truth. On the other hand, the truth can serve as the first step to healing, to change, to health.

If people tell the truth in their relationships at all times they will find them to be more healthy, more fulfilling, more of what they hoped for and wanted. So much pain can be avoided with the truth. There may be pain at the beginning. It will be nothing close to the pain at the end if you allow secrets to grow and fester. This is so even in your relationship with yourself.

Looking at one's self can be the most difficult thing of all. Who wants to be honest about poor intentions, destructive desires, selfishness, etc...? It's hard to do. Trust me, you will be a much better person if you find the strength to do so. You can only address the issues when they are plainly stated. How foolish do we look when we hide secrets that are only secrets to our own conscience?

Secrets grow with strength and power the longer they are kept in the dark. They eat away at the person keeping them while working to destroy the others involved. Secrets must be hog tied and drug into the light to be seen and vanquished. If you want to live a better life there can be NO MORE SECRETS!