I'D RATHER BE YOUR N-I-G-G-A....

I'm sure the title is shocking to some but please allow me to explain. I have recently been reunited with my late teens/early adulthood through the media of music. A friend of mine has hooked me up with almost all of the Tupac collection. As I get reacquainted with the music I have come across one of my favorite songs, I'd Rather Be your N-I-G-G-A.

The song, performed by Tupac and Richie Rich, is a comparison between being a woman's man and being a "NIGGA." Let me be clear that the term "Nigga" used in this sense is not about race or color, but behavior and approach. The song opens up with Tupac stating, "I don't want to be her man...I want to be her Nigga!" Contained in that one sentence is world of issues.

The "Man" in this song is the good guy. This is the one that has made a commitment. He is seeking to pursue a real relationship complete with commitment, support, comfort, dates, etc... This is the man that's doing the hard work of relationship. On the flip side is the "nigga."

The "nigga" is not about commitment, support, love, or relationship. The "nigga" is about fucking, plain and simple. Double R (Richie Rich) has a line that says, "Your man wines and dines, but we wine and grind." The song is a statement that a man that seeks out true love is soft and something less than a man. It even indicates that the hurtless lover is more proficient at the skill of intimate touch.

So, the sensible person might think that a woman would examine the two parties and make a wise decision and choose the man over the nigga. Not so. I have been eye witness to nigga after nigga getting the goods while the man gets taken. I have even seen this by educated, well to do, women. White, Black, and other alike. It's kind of senseless.

It has been suggested to me that "nigga" like relationships are adrenaline based and provide an extra kick that people like to have. It's the excitement of being one of many and sneaking around. It's the thrill of trying to nail down a man that is more like jello than wood. It is the unwinnable challenge before them of taming the wild beast-The nigga. These relationships are not sustainable and won't mature beyond the bedroom activity.

I get the thrill of it all. These guys are kind of like today's Cowboys. They're wild, unpredictable, tough, rugged...what people think of when they think of some of the attributes of men. However, it's like doing crack. Sure, there's a major high at first and then there is life destroying suffering to follow: Ad-Dick-tion. There will be pain. There will be suffering. And, there will be regret.

Nevertheless, niggas seem to win out daily. A man that puts little effort into building a relationship, because he's not, while getting the benefits. The plea of Tupac has gone from a suggestion to the norm of life. It is assumed that women are done for such activity. And, I have seen too many women prove it right.

I will have to combat this trend by coming out with, "I'd rather be your M-A-N." I don't know if it will have the same edge and appeal, but something has to be done. It will likely come off more like "Swagger Wagon." That would be counter productive. Hey, if you can't beat em, join em. I'd rather be your N-I-G.....