It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don't know if that's true. There may be a remission of the feelings associated with the wounds. However, one word, one picture, one saying could bring them all back like a flood. Is that healing? I think not.
As I go through this journey of recovery from destruction I find that women keep telling me I need "time to heal and enjoy you." I make the distinction that only women have told me this because I haven't heard such a thing from men. Men are cautious about entering into a serious relationship. Men have cautioned me about living a play boy life style. Men have cautioned me not to walk this rode alone. I don't think any of them told me to take time to figure myself out.
I think this is because men and women are built and do function differently. Women need time to process. They need time to feel. They need time to cry, eat ice cream, watch love stories, and make painful mistakes that only add to the sorrow. On the other hand, men need time to be pissed. They need to be angry, spend some money, engage the ladies, and get back to work on career goals (all this in the first few weeks). Men and women are just different.
I know it doesn't happen exactly that way but close. I am willing to give credence to what the women are saying if only they can ask one question; "How long does it take?" If someone can prescribe a time frame and what I need to do (specific) I would take that prescription like my life depended upon it. I don't want to sit around idle. My mind processes quickly and I have plenty of time to "process" as is.
I'm not interested in taking years to repair my heart and re-enter the field of play. Don't get me wrong I do want to repair my heart but I can't see sitting out for years. Hell, I'll be near retirement by that point. Besides, it's tough being patient in this age of instant pudding. What's worse is that it does not seem to be up to me as to when I am "healed." Despite what I say, the decision is in the woman's hands. Ain't that about a Bitch?
Look, time is only of use if you use the time wisely. If I'm just sitting around reflecting on my life (something I do often) I don't believe I will find healing at all. If there is an action plan for restoration I'm all for it. For me, I think part of the plan is being open to engage women in a manner that is not based on the physicality of the relationship but the essence of the person. I'm not looking for love and Lord knows I'm not ready for that. I am enjoying the company of women and I'm open to those relationships growing...come what may.
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