R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Growing up as a young man respect is a serious matter. It's even more serious when you're in the hood. A man wants to establish himself as a man. He doesn't want people to mess with him or his family. He wants R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The same is true today. I hear young men say, "Do you know who I am?" The question is an issue of respect. If a person is known they have respect, clout, notoriety. This can be accomplished a number of ways.

Respect can be obtained through money, fighting skill, sports, the ability to pull women, associations (family, friends, gang, etc...), and just being "cool." There is another way of gaining respect. It takes more work in some respects. You can gain it through character. This takes time. One's character will be tested for a long time. People are always watching your every move waiting for you to fall.

This was the route I went. I didn't know it at the time but I was developing character. I've always been a good guy. I was raised to do the right thing even when others were doing the wrong thing. I've always stood up for people being picked on, I didn't start fights but I didn't run either, I was polite and gave honor to my elders. I played sports but I was hardly a star. Over the years I gained a respect from my hood that I don't think many folks had. I remember listening to some guys talk about stealing my mom's car. When they identified it was my mom they said "don't steal that one." Respect is a great thing....or is it?

Respect has not always gone my way. Especially when it comes to the ladies. I have often thought that my good guy image was killing the bad girl that wanted to come out. People tend to assimilate to those around them. If they are in their element and they feel free they will be who they are. If they feel the need to change it up they will do that. I often feel like people are on their best behavior around me. In short I think that women that would otherwise have a good time button it up when I come around.

I've seen this happen over the years with my friends. They toned it down when I came around. They even wouldn't invite me to certain events out of respect for me. I hated that. I remember being told by one of the chaperone's at my prom that she overheard a bunch of girls saying that I was a real man and that they respected me in the women's rest room. That was all good and well but a brotha wasn't gettin' no play. Just once I would like to be a regrettable event. I would like to be someone that women were sorry they entertained (not really I just want to be treated like other men).

I know there are consequences for that type of reputation and behavior. Even still, I just want to be a "piece of shit" for one night. As I once said, "Use me!" I highly doubt this will ever happen. People can change but I don't think I will ever be able to go that route. Yet and still I feel like I'm missing out. Respect ain't worth nothin' when your talking sex, money, or career. I've got mad respect, few dollars, no title, and no action. Ah well.......such is life.