IT'S COMPLICATED

The phrase, "It's Complicated," is commonly used to identify the relationship status of many on social networks. It is a loaded term with all types of implications. For some complication means that, "I'm in a relationship but things aren't going the way I want them too." For others, "I'm sexing someone. It ain't official but I'm not going to engage others on that level." You have those that just won't allow their mind to catch up with the reality that they actually don't have a relationship. The "complicated" term covers that and so much more.

Whatever the reason people use that "complicated" term they are right about one thing; RELATIONSHIPS ARE COMPLICATED. When you look at all the pieces that go into a relationship it can make your head spin right off your body. There is the issue of attraction. You may be attracted to one and they may not. This is a major problem as physical attraction is typically the first thing to catch someones attention.

There is the issue of availability. Let's say that you do cross paths with a person that shares your attraction...how likely is it that you are both available at the same time? This might be one of the most difficult issues to overcome. Since we live in a place where people don't like to be alone for any significant period of time folks tend to quickly move from relationship to relationship. Even if folks would be willing to leave one for the other that doesn't instill much confidence in the one that is stealing that individual away. They might as well put that relationship on the clock...their time will be up soon.

Moving on, let's say that you are attracted and available; now comes the issue of compatibility. It's one thing to see someone that has the physique you find attractive. It's another for them to be available, however that might come about. And it is a whole other issues when it comes to, "do we click?" Compatibility has so many factors to it; finances, values, religion, upbringing, culture, ethnicity, ambition, drive, habits, etc...etc.... This is where things can get really tough. Some people temporarily give up what they hold dear in order to advance the relationship. But, where are you advancing it if you aren't honest about what you value? Answer: destruction.

Ok, ok, let's say that you have those first three issues covered. Now you have to get down to the details. Do we both want kids? Do we want to get married or just shack? Is this an open relationship or a closed relationship? Is lots of money important? Do we want to live in the same place? Do I have tons of baggage from previous relationships? Are we on the same time table with things? Is it all about what's "in" or does practicality and value matter? And on and on...

It is amazing in some ways that people ever get married and stay together. There are just so many considerations. Some of these issues matter (values, morals, children...). Some don't (fashion, style, SWAG...). If you are lucky enough to cross paths with someone that looks like they meet these requirements I say go for it. Most things can be overcome if you are dedicated to the person, to the institution of marriage, and God. If you're only dedicated to yourself then you should scrap relationships altogether. Man...IT'S COMPLICATED.