Separated Vs. Legally Divorced

As I travel on this journey I am learning new things daily. One of the things that is a repeating theme as of late is the discussion of my "legal" status. Some of the women I've been spending time with find my legal status as a married man a real issue. In fact, they have put me in the "friendship" zone on that issue alone.

I find that the women of Caucasian persuasion don't seem to have this issue. They take it in stride and move on like ain't nothing ever happened. Black women treat me like the plague and with good reason. I know many a man has sold the story that he and his wife were through. Only for the woman that bought the story to find that he is still married and living with his wife...maybe still making babies. Damn, played again. Like all situations, the bad guys screw the good guys.

With that in mind I'm not knocking these women. If I was a woman I would be hesitant as well. Key word in that last statement, "WOMAN." I don't think men have this issue when it comes to women. if a woman says that she's separated and headed for divorce I don't think the man would altar his plans or behavior not one bit. In fact, most men wouldn't be mad if that woman ended up back with their husband as long as they got what they wanted.

I asked a woman how would our relationship be different if I weren't "legally" married? She said that she couldn't answer the question because she doesn't even allow her mind to go there because I am married. I don't believe men have this gift of thought stoppage. The most dedicated, religious, faithful, of men I know still have thoughts that take them all the way to the bedroom in a matter of moments about women. For men, thoughts aren't the issue. Behavior is. As a faithfully, dedicated, married man my thoughts went lots of places. My actions never went anywhere.

Maybe the issue is because women thrive on fantasy and romance. They love the romance novels, the smooth R&B songs, the sappy chic flicks. Fantasy is a woman's bread and butter (see soap opera). Perhaps women know that if they allow themselves to think it, they will eventually do it. If that is the case then they should protect themselves cause there are few men that would refuse a woman's advance (maybe a gay man...and even then-Maybe).

Men don't have this hang up. We don't have this issue. Men could care less if a woman is single, separated, divorced, or just having an argument. For most men (those without any conviction to stop them) are like, "Hey, it's on tonight." Maybe that is the difference between men and woman, what relationships mean, and how physical encounters are interpreted. Whatever it is, it's not an issue. So, women keep your morals and suspicions about so-called separated men. Check the legal documents for brotha's that claim they're divorced. And, don't go out after having an argument with your husband cause we will be waiting and ready.