NEVER THE SAME AGAIN

I can't remember if I shared with you the recommendation by quite a few women that I find a female "friend" that would be down for extending benefits (sex) with a full understanding that nothing serious is going to happen. The women that shared this suggestion with me said it so "matter of fact." It was almost as though it was a normal happening that is often negotiated. I had heard of friends with benefits, fuck buddies, bust it babies, and jump offs, but I had never really considered this to be a reality.

It was and is my firm belief that such relationships can not exist. Certainly, there are some men and women that can function in such a fashion, but they are few. One of the women that had shared this suggestion with me and stated that she was engaged in such a relationship has completely changed her tune. The relationship has now turned to the run of the mill relationship. She wants a relationship complete with commitment and marriage. I ask, what happened to the understanding?

My discussion with men and my experience has taught me that there is no such thing as a no strings attached trusting relationship. I hold that women really want to believe that they can function like men. Women want to be able to engage in sexual activity and move on like they just shook hands with a distant associate. Women aren't built that way. The sooner they come to accept that reality the sooner they will be at peace. Women continue to fight to be like men with horrible results.

Women want to believe that they can engage in sex with a man and continue to just be friends. It just can't happen. When people engage in sexual activity it forever alters the nature of that relationship. How can it not? When people engage on a physical, mental, emotional, and even spiritual (be it good or bad) level you can't go back to business as usual. I hear people try to say that this is going to happen. It is a undeniable reality that it won't. It should be listed as one of the laws of physics.

I believe that the parameters of a relationship are changed so definitively that I could even make an argument that men aren't the same after the encounter either. I can recall a "friend" telling me that she liked to flirt. Her style of flirting encompassed a lot. It was far beyond the norm. So I told her she could flirt. This woman and I engaged in a great deal of physical activity just short of all out intercourse. When I told her that I thought we should dial things back she lost her mind and went on full attack to destroy me. She tried to tarnish my name, turn my friends against me, and even question my manhood. Keep in mind that she was engaged to another man. I will never forget that experience. I know that things will never be the same after physical engagement.