I'M THE GAY FRIEND

I've talked about this subject before but I have just been reminded of who I "must" be. I must be the gay friend. What straight man is told by women over and over that he's handsome, a great conversationalist, funny (real funny), a man's man, and a great guy, without gaining the attraction of those that make such statements? A gay man.

I wouldn't be trippin' if these comments came from family members or older women. That's not the case. These comments come from women. Might I add, women I'm attracted to. Yet, when I make a move for a deeper relationship I'm treated like I've got leprosy or something. Suddenly, all of my excellent qualities are Nil.

This leads to a couple of conclusions on my part. One, these women are lying in an effort to be polite. I just can't believe that given the consistency of the compliments so I have to pass on that one. Two, these women have serious issues and even though they recognize that I'm a good guy they can't bring themselves to be interested because they prefer bad guys. This may be true. Three, I am all of these qualities. I'm just gay (unbeknownst to myself) and therefore don't have a chance. Seems like a stretch on my part but hey, one never knows now do we?

Just for the record, I'm not gay. Never considered it, never questioned it. Just not. I shouldn't be surprised by my outcomes with women. This has been a life pattern as stated in the past. I meet all the qualifications for the job. I'm a hard worker. I get good results. I just don't have that certain umph needed to break through that glass ceiling or heart as it were.

Allow me to illustrate an example. I recently had an opportunity to speak at a Toastmaster's event. If you don't know, Toastmaster's is a group of people that gather to improve on and overcome the fear of public speaking while developing leadership skills. I am not a member and was not slated to speak until 15 minutes before the event began. Nevertheless, I delivered. After the event I was given many compliments concerning my oratory skills. Truth is, I love public speaking. The problem, I'm recognized by others as having tremendous skill in this area while not being recognized in the places I desire to to it most. Much like in relationships.

This was true in many areas growing up and now it's true as an adult. I'm well thought of at work and good reviews have been plentiful from both inside and outside of my agency. My hope is that this trend continues and that it pays off. However, with my track record in life matters I'm not confident. So, back to the question at hand. Am I the gay friend? I must be. It really doesn't matter if I'm gay or not. It only matters if I'm perceived in such a way by those of the opposite sex. Perception is reality, no matter whether valid or invalid. I guess this is my fate for now. Maybe a new fad of women dating their gay friends will roll in and a weakness will become a strength. One never knows...