The Problem with the Nice Guy's WorldView

As a certified nice guy I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what causes the nice guy so many problems. Is it morals or lack there of? Is it media and what is promoted as the "man?" Is it that people are really jacked up and don't have any interest in a secure relationship? I have come to a place where I think the problem might be the nice guy all by himself.

Nice guys tend to be romantic idealist. These are guys that look forward to the wife, 2.5 kids, the dog, and the 3 bed 2 bath house with 2 car garage. These are men that are chasing the American Dream. And as we all know, sometimes dreams just don't come true.

The problem with the nice guy is that he lives in a dream land that does not exist. His worldview is picture perfect. He expects for fine young women to be attracted to his polite treatment of women, his stability as a man, and his faithful heart. In a perfect world this would be the case. The best men would get the best women. A good man would be rewarded for his efforts to stay the course of righteousness. But, that is a fairytale.

The truth is people are messed up. As a believe in God I hold to the fact that all people are sinful (prone to do wrong) and therefore operate in such a manner. People are attracted to bad things; drugs, alcohol, illicit sex, lying, materialism, and on and on... It is the nature of things. Consequently, women and men are pulled towards relationships that aren't the greatest for any number of reasons. We have a desire for relationships of the highest quality and settle for what ever is available at the time.

Hence, good guys need to accept that games, jilted lovers, and being played is all part of the sad reality of life. Why continue to bang your head off the wall? The good guy can either continue to fight to change a system that is to ingrained in the people. Or, they can choose to learn the rules of the game and get busy playing.

If good guys choose not to make changes and adjust to the game they will forever be stuck complaining about the results. If they choose to get in the game they will need to be cautious because the waters can be deadly. But, risk will need to be taken. Pain is unavoidable. There might as well be a little pleasure mixed in.